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Nothing More to Say

Submitted by Barbara Writes on Thu, 2011-09-29 04:45

I held back waters, raging sea
for days, building inside me
words of contempment
spewed from your lips
weakened my resources

Days of sandbagging
building leveys
protect you from my wrath
gave way to alcohol
touching my lips

Now sea bursted
leaving no stone unturn
your city lay bare
eyes of those watching on
hoped I would just shut up

Tone down outrage?
soften blows to your ego?, but
what about my integrity
trampled down
left mangled

Now! I feel better
letting go anger, resentment
forgiving games
for my namesake
to hold no grudges

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
sometimes holding back dosen't work. it only make you sick when you overlook great wrongs, and people take you for granted:)
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Barbara Writes

Thu, 2011-09-29 10:42

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I think vague for this piece is betterr because the details causing the sea to rage should be vague I think readers have there own reason for there sea to rage . therefore adding there own interpretation while I hold on to exact a little longer. maybe for another day of writing

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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Barbara Writes

Thu, 2011-09-29 10:45

Barbara Writes's picture
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I think vague for this piece is betterr because the details causing the sea to rage should be vague I think readers have there own reason for there sea to rage . therefore adding there own interpretation while I hold on to exacts a little longer. maybe for another day of writing

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

Barbara Writes

Thu, 2011-09-29 14:19

Barbara Writes's picture
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i pondered those exact three points.
I'm glad you cleared it up for me.
this is what Neopoet is all about making sure our poetry come together.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

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