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“Goodbye”

Submitted by reichley on Thu, 2011-09-29 00:32

The future is unwritten, only time will tell.
The only certain event in this chapter book we call our lives are the goodbyes.
We struggle to find that one special thing in our lives, that one thing we'd do anything to hold on to.
We'd fight for die for just to keep it safe and hold on forever.
But in the end you have to let go and say your goodbyes.
Goodbye to your love ones.
Goodbye to your hopes and dreams.
Goodbye to those wishes you been wishing since 13.
Goodbye to that one person that changed your life, that one you'll love forever.
With that one last soft kiss upon your lips, those last goodbyes, Please remember the future is untold, it's not written in stone.
When it comes to say that one last, and final goodbye:
I will not fear.
I will not cry because those memories will help me get by.
When it comes to that day:
I will not beg
I will not plead even though you mean so much to me.
Even if we never meet again I at least know I got to say goodbye and that will get me through life that will get me by.
-To those I loved and have lost & to those I hate to lose and would do anything to keep

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

weirdelf

Thu, 2011-09-29 02:24

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but I'm curious.
What in makes this poetry, rather than a short piece of prose?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Geezer

Thu, 2011-09-29 03:19

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that this is more prose than poetry, however, you have indeed told a nice tale.
The fourth line bothers me some, I think you might have said it a bit better. I would have said:

We'd fight and die just to keep it safe and hold on forever. ~ Geezer

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