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SWEEPING SUMMER OUT
Blow you strong northwestern wind!
shake the windows, toss the trees
show summer out and autumn in
time approaches for first freeze
Fill the sky of blue with gray
bring the long forgotten rain
which has been too long away
return moisture to the world again
Loosen acorns for the falling
blow the spots off of the fawn
set the geese and ducks to calling
roust hunters out before the dawn
When this gale's breath at last is lost
the dust and sweating will be done
the next strong wind will bring the frost
to glisten in the morning sun
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
scribbler
Fri, 2011-09-16 22:08
hi chrys
I think maybe return works better as it goes better with previous part of stanza. Blowing the spots off is meant as metaphor for bringing time of year when fawns lose their spots. Thanks for coming by and commenting........stan
scribbler
Fri, 2011-09-16 22:10
Hi Rose
I have always enjoyed windy days as they usually portend change in weather. Good of you to come visiting......stan
Roscoe Lane
Sat, 2011-09-17 00:12
Stan,
As always a thoroughly great read as we have come to expect i dare say. Regards Roscoe..
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
scribbler
Sat, 2011-09-17 09:17
hi Roscoe
Thank you, but now I'll be hesitant about posting new stuff a it might not be good enough lol...........stan