Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Acrid Mist writing with emotion workshop
You have what I want
Tiny bites nip at my
Self control.
I need what you have
An ache cramps
My back.
Give it to me
Got have it,
It’s not yours.
Editing stage:
Workshop:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
raj
Wed, 2011-09-14 14:32
Lou
this poem can be perceived as one expressing "desire" but that is not listed in the workshop on emotions is it?...may be i perceived it in correctly....but i liked the mysterious factor in this...
raj (sublime_ocean)
lou
Wed, 2011-09-14 14:59
Raj
Thank you I'll wait for some more input, before I change anything
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
raj
Wed, 2011-09-14 15:10
Lou
please don't get me wrong..i didn't mean to suggest that you need to change anything...
raj (sublime_ocean)
lou
Wed, 2011-09-14 15:30
Raj
don't worry i'm not offended. The idea is to change things .
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
lou
Wed, 2011-09-14 22:36
Hehe
I'm always missing stuff out..
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Candlewitch
Thu, 2011-09-15 11:30
Dear Lou,
I'm impressed! You have expressed a couple of emotions with so few words!
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.