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Acrid Mist writing with emotion workshop

You have what I want
Tiny bites nip at my
Self control.

I need what you have
An ache cramps
My back.

Give it to me
Got have it,
It’s not yours.

Editing stage: 

Comments

this poem can be perceived as one expressing "desire" but that is not listed in the workshop on emotions is it?...may be i perceived it in correctly....but i liked the mysterious factor in this...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thank you I'll wait for some more input, before I change anything

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

please don't get me wrong..i didn't mean to suggest that you need to change anything...

raj (sublime_ocean)

don't worry i'm not offended. The idea is to change things .

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

I'm always missing stuff out..
Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

I'm impressed! You have expressed a couple of emotions with so few words!

always, Cat

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