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Master and Slave

Times dungeons have never healed
The relationship between
known and unknown

Some bask in the glory of the sun
Some of their own
We all are but passersby
To all unknown
Yet time shears our lives
To the very bones,
We pass out all unknown,
Who the master
Who the slave
Who the follower
Who the knave

Except the naïve,
They are the worst victims of all.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I find strong feelings in this piece. I most liked these lines:

We all are but passersby
To all unknown
Yet time shears our lives
To the very bones,

always, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I like the poem.
My only problem is the last line line
Except the naïve
they are the worst victims of all.
Just my opinion.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I find that an individual /independent edit
adds
the requisite amount of salt,
nay,
sugar
thanks frnd and master.

loved

author comment

I know I was very hard on you at times, I hope you can forgive me.
I would like to hear your feedback on my poems. I haven't written much lately but would like to hear your honest thoughts in plain english.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

more than I really deserve
i do read ur poems when ever
but can i dare
comment upon a teacher
i wonder ......

none the less
thank you for the offer
i have posted one in ur poems
hope u will like it.
much more the better

loved

author comment

I am no role model. just have a little knowledge and talent.

Do not be afraid to say anything to me, except, as I asked before, try to say it in plain English.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Where even angels,
If any do dread,

Many works of creativity,
I have read
And
Many poets to victory lead,

I always endeavour
To help all those
Who for me care
As you do
And
now,my poetry share.

loved

author comment
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