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A Quip
How good are the wings
if we can't feel the wind in our face
how good are the waves
if we can't feel their passion
Editing stage:
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Comments
loved
Tue, 2011-08-30 16:55
I Read it to quip
i shall not comment
lest I make a hat trick
hope you do like it
my tactic
loved
loved
Tue, 2011-08-30 17:08
We Soar,
We Soar,
Well can't help it
Old habits die hard,
In any case
I’m no cricketer,
So what with the hat-trick
We soar into space
Like does Branson
With utmost grace,
He fights a space race,
We fight spatial…
Likewise the ocean across your window,
You view daily
And
The passion of the high tide
Reminds one of the compassion
We experience nightly,
But there is no substitute
To imagination,
As sex, pragmatic,
is the modern fashion,
Take it or leave
It’s left for thee
The wave’s desperation
Surges within me
loved
raj
Wed, 2011-08-31 15:16
Hi Lonnie
thanks for the read ..your comment and your suggestion...much appreciated..
raj (sublime_ocean)
weirdelf
Tue, 2011-08-30 18:23
I am reminded of
William Blake - Auguries of Innocence
"To see a world in a grain of sand"
A poet's poem.
And you know I like them short [grins]
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
raj
Wed, 2011-08-31 15:17
Thanks Jess for your comment.
Thanks Jess for your comment..
raj (sublime_ocean)
scribbler
Tue, 2011-08-30 18:29
hi raj
For some reason I kept wanting to substitute what for how in this enjoyable short poem, but that's just me................stan
raj
Wed, 2011-08-31 15:19
thanks Stan for tickling my
thanks Stan for tickling my mind with your suggestion...ummmmmmmm let's see how it goes...
in fact i had begun writing these lines as a song and then for one reason or another it just didn't take off from there...
raj (sublime_ocean)
loved
Wed, 2011-08-31 16:31
why u did not like
my commments raj
loved
raj
Wed, 2011-08-31 16:36
did i say i didn't like them?
did i say i didn't like them? i didn't..isn't that true?
raj (sublime_ocean)
Candlewitch
Mon, 2011-09-05 12:48
hello raj,
I like this short piece. in few lines you manage to convey both thought and emotion.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
raj
Mon, 2011-09-05 14:57
Hi Cat
thank you for the read and your comment...means a lot when you comment...
raj (sublime_ocean)