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Zombie Nights...

Submitted by Geezer on Fri, 2011-07-15 23:00

Hey, don't you know it, it's a cold and foggy night?
Cold zombie bodies don't appear, in my low-light sight
Can't see for shit, I'm afraid, and it's oh so quiet
Yeah, you think it's funny... it really is a riot

I wish that it was you out here, I'd like to see you try
I'll bet that you would piss your pants, right before you die
We lost poor Jim Mc Gee about half an hour ago
They just showed up in thousands, all shuffling in a row

We were all surrounded, back to back and firing fast
McGee got separated, zombies had him I saw last
He was taken down and partly eaten, then he just stood up
It all happened very quick; it was a bit abrupt...

You could hear them muttering, low and guttural voices
Then they started coming, there were no other choices
We retreated as we fired, we left Jim McGee to die
Now he's chasing us, with them, "Shit, he's only got one eye"

Bloody broken limbs, don't bother them too much
They kept right on a'coming, outstretched arms... just want to touch
As the circle tightened, and they gathered in a bunch
Another man went down, and he was midnight-lunch

We backed up and kept on firing, left them both to die
And I keep seeing Jim Mc Gee, staring with one eye
There are too many zombies, we'll never get them all
Their coming out of stairways, shambling down the hall

Oh well, this is it, I got one shot left for me
I don't want to be like them; having lunch with Jim McGee

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Yesterday, my grandson was telling me a story about how he was playing a war game on-line, and him and another guy had to leave a couple of guys behind, when they got cut off and separated. This poem started writing it'self as soon as I sat down. ~ Gee
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

lou

Sat, 2011-07-16 06:45

lou's picture

Gee,

I like idea of using a Zombie theme. The poem reminds me of the kind of shows that are on T.V at the moment, (There's been a show on this subject, can't think of the title).

good job

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Geezer

Sat, 2011-07-16 20:55

Geezer's picture
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a new series on T.V. at the moment, and I can't remember the name either. LOL I have watched it a few times, and it may be where I have gotten some of my images. Great fun!
Thanks for the read and comments, Love ya, Gee

Update! The show we spoke of was "The Walking Dead".
~ Geez.
.

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author comment

Candlewitch

Fri, 2023-03-24 05:42

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this is an excellent story for a camping trip firelight session! I love it! nicely rhymed, too. it flowed smoothly from start to finish!

*hugs & goose bumps, Cat & eddy

*
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Geezer

Fri, 2023-03-24 08:16

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I think you are right! Maybe when I am at my next campfire with the little kids, I will tell this one. I'll bet they would get a kick out of it. Thanks for the read and comment. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

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