Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
THESE DARK PLACES
Poor ventilation, shadows like ghost
In full light of day, corners covered
Concealed places for roaches and rats
Bugs, fever, sickbay, sometime death
Theses dark places, let there be light
The mind, like umbrella shot in the rain
Eyes, unprotected, become blurred by showers
Ignorance, superstition in dark slanted caves
Impede progress and deter development
These dark places, prisoners of conscience
Political assassination and kidnapping
Electoral fraud guaranteed oppressive rule
One step forward and ten back in time
Anarchy looms, state doomed devoid of light
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
t. reflexion
Fri, 2011-06-17 18:01
Appreciation...
You time with my scribbles means a lot to me, more so when your comments come from a frank heart, thank you and best wishes.
tr
A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light