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Politics of the Future World

Politics of future world

What will be your guises when you return,
can you take my mind to dance upon beaches.
Could you be masquerading at the lectern,
chasing sleeping morals beyond our reaches.

These questions I ask with candid voice,
equating your answers to be in part lying.
Loosing all command of fraternal feeling,
clinging to your words litigation simplifying.

What price the prancing prince,
who dances on the bones of better men.
Causing the proudest now to wince,
families to dream and all hope abandon.

Does not the heart torn,
from unwanted lovers still beat.
If we should ourselves adorn,
would this adornment have failed by our own feat.

Create not falseness in your joy,
we could not overtly push aside a kindness.
As and when should we employ,
elements unreal even to a lover’s blindness.

Cataclysmic categories of incapable creatures,
have preyed on the needs of fellow man.
Denying and denigrating decent dependants,
their right to live a life at best even.

Who are the wheeler dealers brokering our lives,
in their golden oil infested, diamond lands.
Are they different to the dealers of death,
illegal arms holding cocaine and heroin in hands

Bring out your dead, find the cause of their demise,
see greed or lack of appear before your eyes.
Speak not of what they want to hear but scream it,
making the fight for justice or retribution your remit.

Please I beg…

Now is not a time to fail the child,
or allow our fears to hide feelings.
Such as paternal defences of the wild,
against the cruel deceivers dealings

We must strike wholeheartedly for a land,
of honest decent people and allow the creation,
of our own type of believer

No need for guidance from government,
or church infested thinkers to deprive.
Man and woman their right to a decent standard of living,
and a priceless place of true freedoms
We must scatter the thieves who steal the process of thought,
however different intellectual or religious.

Give true freedom of speech to be heard however radical,
deciding by ourselves how the lives of our fellow man should be respected.
And create a world with ever changing guardians,
who can deliver with honest untarnished thinking.
Bringing an end to the lording lards,
who stand by while communities flounder,
Due to lack of decent care and nourishment,
who put the price of life at perilous position.

And do nothing in return but breed those of the same ilk…

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Angered by what i see happening to our countries economy and our services, i have posted this poem from the old site.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Such an emotional outpouring of disgust for the way our world is turning. In the US - maybe even more so. We quickly forget our brothers for the monetary value of it all. I too ask if we can remember humility and humanity’s basic need. We are so ready to squash our neighbor for self gain … but this is not my soap box, it is yours so I will remove myself from your podium.

You’ve got me riled up sir and rightly so. I love the message in this work. I believe you are asking for a revolution!

BUT OH - THIS:

“What price the prancing prince,
who dances on the bones of better men.”

THAT is amazing use of language. Wonderful alliteration, and four separate sounds to “o” in the second line. Poetic brilliance!

Technical stuff:

S1L3 – I think “guise” instead of “guises?” Thoughts on that?
S2L1 – “ These questions I ask” should be, “I ask these questions”
S2L3 – “Loosing” should be “Losing”
S3L4 – “abandon” should be “abandoned”

S4 L1&2 – this is a question and should have a question mark. Line is a bit on the cliché side though so you might consider revising.

Several areas of inverted lines and statements that border on cliché. You may wish to edit to come up with phrases that will have more impact; those that should become the NEW cliché *smile*

All in all, a message in verse that needs hearing. Some honing and polishing and this could be printed on flyers and distributed around the world. Well at least to the White House – maybe Parliament? *wink*

Well done sir.

~Pamela

.. .

~"It's ALL about the Poetry~

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Thank you Pamela, i'll certainly give it more work, and i like some of your suggestions. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

revolt, revolt, revolution in the end!

Your message is strong, but I have to agree with Pam on how it is written. it needs something to take this excellent soap box stand over the top.
I feel you, but the sense of it needs to hit harder. I think if you wrote it in the first person. It would really stand out.

good write,
Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

Thank you Eddie, you and Pam have given me a task, i will work on this as soon as i can. Again i say thank for your comments and help. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment
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