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Thieves Of Fate

Submitted by brittle light on Sun, 2010-11-21 01:32

.
harbingers, soothsayers, seers, witches
begone, scat, remove theselves
from my world's events

liars, the lot
tenders of calamity and confusion
the only fate can be known for sure
is my wrath for trifling in my presense

take thy clownish selves to partake
in a carnival of pleasures and games
jokesters and jesters by your sides
and a gaggle of ogling patrons to witness
this silly and sad melodrama you produce

mine own eyes and mind will deliver
the calculus, and decision

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing

Comments

judyanne

Sun, 2010-11-21 02:47

judyanne's picture
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nothing to crit - rough draft? - you're a genius.
love the coinage of 'theselves'....
4th stanza the greatest out of a great poem
love judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

brittle light

Tue, 2010-11-23 00:31

brittle light's picture

thanks. I'll leave it to your imagination. your impression is probably more fun than mine.
Now, as I read it after your comment, your version fits what is written just as well ...cool! I think the style of language, without any other context, automatically pushes into that direction.

I'll just say, it was a contemporary thought I had about psychics, placed into the laguage of another time.

P.S. I like the strength of your poetry, even though I don't comment very often.

best regards

Al

author comment

Race_9togo

Tue, 2010-11-23 01:15

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There's so much I like here that I cannot decide where to begin, so I simply won't. Every line sings. Particularly the final two.

"theselves"? I read "thyselves". Or maybe "thee hence"? That might work.

Apart from that...change it to "not currently editing", 'cuz it doesn't need any.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

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