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Walking Backward, Tripping Over Snakes

My love for you: As pure as lungs need air to breathe,
but that was not meant to be; your absence suffocates me.
I turn to follow prints of feet, crossing deserts to find Plan B;
all that's found are skulls and bones, it makes no sense to walk backwardly.
There is no resurrection of a love-dead-gone affection
when oxygen no longer longs for lips or passing through another's fingertips,
and that's exactly what I need in order to have the strength to run.
They say the body needs a lot of water; without it, there's dehydration.
I have thirst for love and second chance but how can a dancer dance
when his tongue is a raisin and stomach feels infested with ants?
And what is the meaning of an oasis, if the soul still needs its breath;
he could give me an ocean, but without you, there's only death.
All that's found are skulls and bones, it makes no sense to walk backwardly.
All that's found are skulls and bones, it makes no sense to walk
All that's found are skulls and bones, it makes no sense,
it makes no sense,
and this time, there's no resurrection.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 

Comments

thanks :)

-Ty

author comment

Indeed. The title as well as the poem.....beyond excellence.

Welcome To Neo.

~A

thank you :)

-Ty

author comment

Bueno muchachitos...:P You know I loved this when I read it...xxx

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

I think Kim and Red Card should meet.

;-)

~A

lol who is kim?

-Ty

author comment

LOL I think Ana was meaning Rottiestyl on here, she'd enjoy your writing :)

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

this is a painfully honest piece. it has an excellent flow throughout and your internal rhyme is done with a deft touch. i have only one suggestion: L9 drop the "have" for "i thirst for love and second chance but how can a dancer dance." as i read this a few times, i omitted it personally. just a thought.

really potently emotive and genuine work. :)

~lori

"I am the lonely soul of a waterfall."

Thanks Lori. I was trying to convey that... I have thirst for love in the past. Is thirsted a word? Hmm.... even if it is, it doesn't sound right. I mean I get what you're saying and appreciate the input... but I think I might need "have" to express what I intended? :| Glad you like it though. :D

-Ty

author comment
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