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Depressionatomy 101

Unlikely-like personified!
Guess who joined me in my realm!?!
The "lass" from Impressionatomy
has returned to overwhelm.

These days it doesn't take too much
for me to end up all "twitter-twirl",
I'm known in these parts for ruining topics
when talking to, or in front of a girl!

Who could even say, "why" she'd return
maybe last time seemed like, fun!
She's either brave, or awful dumb
most others would've turned to run!

In fact, I still re-remember
how my mouth began to stammer,
and, I had troubles ending sentences
unless struck, "clean"...with my hammer!

I made some sort of an impression
for, she came back all this way;
and from, the myriad of charms I own
it weren't from what I had to say.

Now, realize my attention span
was being "splintered" everyway at once,
but, Friday the 13th is a heck of a day
to find out I'm but a "dunce"!

Hindsight's always 20/20
I should've been content home, all alone;
this "lass" was quite, deftly focused,
I fell asleep, she locked-up, and stole my cellpone.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

What a tale, what a lovely little story, how sensibility reigns in this dock, humbly said we follow the sentiments and feel the tension inside, while the teller tries not to show it. Then the devilish girl goes and steals the mobile phone, damn it, what did the humble boy do to deserve that then?

Love Ann of Norway.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

...he dozed off for twenty minutes.
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

...how can I edit?
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

"These days it doesn't take too much
for me to end up all "twitter-twirl",.....................for me to end up "twitter-twirl" ( that must mean something modern?)

"was being "splintered" everyway at once," do you need- at once?
"to find out I'm but a "dunce"! I am but a dunce for rhythm.
"I fell asleep, she locked-up, and stole my cellpone." isn't phone enough without the cell?
Its odd rhythm here and there that's the thing that needs looking at I feel.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

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