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When it's gone

To feel
a great passion
deep within
knowing
it is but a dream
To have lived that moment
traveling
on endless waves of love
holding it
believing it will live on
for eternity

Oh truth,
please do not
let me see
the end of this
which I think will
make me live
for it is death
to be without the touch
of a heart
that lives inside
my very being

Gods of mercy
hear my plea
grant me
the one thing
I need
to be free
of this fear and pain
that courses
through my veins
stifling a heart
that is filled
with love

I do understand
that one heart
standing by itself
is not enough
too make life with another
grow

When what I once
held
in the mansion
of my heart
which now is vacant
with the winds
of sorrow
Blowing
through every open
window
is gone
never to knock upon
my door again

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
[This option has been removed]
Last few words: 
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Editing stage: 

Comments

Eddie, I think you have *found your voice*. Halleluyah! (and listen to Rosina's suggestion) I offer another word other than *attacking* (unless you have suffered one in the past) smothering my love-filled breath.

Well done!

~A

Oh truth,
please do not
let me see

end of this
which I think will
make me live
for it is death
to be without the touch

of a heart
that lives inside
my very being

loved

I thank you, but I like it as it is. I am not making any changes as you notice my options.
Soon I'll have more time to read your poems

Eddie
PS I'd like you to join my next session of splash pool. I will not accept a no from you.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

that was no suggestion
but my own way of emphasis

loved

My words to you were wrong, read my poem "Poster boy"
Thanks sweetie

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

gone to
euphoric antithesis
or what?

loved

I am going out to Ca, this thursday to be with my sweetie an my euphoria. Hahaha

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

Thank you for your generous comment
A happy to you.
I see people celebrating this day, and they only think it's about the dead. To me it's about thanking those that came home alive, to a world that never thank me personally for serving my country with great pride.
Sad isn't it.

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

You have written a very passionate piece.
wouldn't change a thing.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

thank you lou, you have made me happy

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

Thank you, we'll see, I am still hearing other voices. what does that mean. Hahaha!

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

you are not alone.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

This is good!
your not ripping it apart, instead your recognizing the feeling!
this has to mean something either I'm gettig better or your medication is working real good.
LMFAO

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

out of a skinhead today
[grins]

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Hahahaha!
sick fuck that you are.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

than poetic muck

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

now it sounds like you

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

that "poetic muck" did not refer to your poem, it was about me.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Please, if you have to explain then why bother. you have always said that to me.
no worries brother!

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment
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