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Colors on Display

She paints him
colors to suit her taste.
Her actions mold him according to her whims
while he writhes beneath her gaze,
those dark lenses transforming
his contour, size and shape.
Soon she has him ready,
wrapped for her display called life.

There is one catch.
She can’t control his sounds
reverberating off walls,
hills or ears of passersby.
They overhear his cry,
“Let me be me or set me free.”
They catch his whimper,
“Must you refashion me
to walk beside you
on parade?."

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I’m gonna give your idea some thought. Please tell me more about Olympic Pool Workshop. Where is it? What is it?

vexations

author comment

So many will be anything required of them just to be loved. I think you could consider changing places with show and display in l-8. And to end poem something like:
paint me with the colors
which you deem
suitable to love

might add a stronger ending. Just an opinion .............stan

I almost didn't comment on this because it felt like just another whinging love poem.

But it has great potential. Please work on it.

And I don't get the title.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
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