Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

final days

the rain falls here
despite it
i am not despondent
freshness comes with water
washes clean
all the stains
i have been friend and
confidante
a failure and success

home will resume with
more of the same
different people
directions and dreams
memories stay
tucked in pictures

in gestures and actions
life will be as restless as it was
no regrets
i left them
long ago

choices we make
leave constant smiles
remembrances of touch
the consistency of humans
a curiosity i will always nurture

how poets make poetry
from unextraordinary things

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
[This option has been removed]
Last few words: 
I realize 'unextraordinary' is pushing the limits but I like making up words in poetry..so don't sweat that one I already know.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Thanks JC, it's always a sad thing when a vacation is ending, will be flying into Sydney Saturday morning en route to Melbourne and boredom lol.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

hi CC, for me the poem stumbles in a few places.. the beginning...

the rain falls here

perhaps: the rain is falling
i am not despondent,

and here:

the water comes with freshness

perhaps: water freshens
washes clean the stains

the ending is good, CC.... the poet knows how to make the ordinary extraordinary, how to wipe the slate clean and begin the beginning, always now.cc

~A

Actually gerunds (ing words) I feel always weaken a beginning, I try to avoid them like the plague, I always feel a poet needs to make strong statements, as if their muse is always right. It's the way I do it but thanks for the suggestions. I think this one will stay as it is for now.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

That's funny, CC. I usually have the exact argument with dangling ing words. However,
it does seem to take a life of its own with the strength of writing in the present tense..

I don't want to belabour the point but perhaps instead of here, if you were to use the city,
say

the rain falls in Los Angeles
i am not despondent

Just another thought, take or not. I enjoy your poetry. ~A

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.