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"Her Smile Reborn" *erotic content*

A warm breeze,
caresses her body,
touching all,
in places seldom seen.

Eyes closed,
capturing fantasy,
hands follow,
the path of lovers,
leaving fingers wet.

Baring all,
teeth clinched,
her breath stolen,
as hands remember,
forgotten ecstasies.

A pleasure reborn,
in erotic moments,
her form quivers,
sweat beads her brow.

Freedom in silence,
now broken,
primal screams,
nails tear skin.

Climax begins,
rippling in waves,
just under flesh,
as her smile is born.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
I'm still playing with freeverse.I also wanted to try the unknown, the female perspective if intimacy.I hope Ive done it justice.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Glad you enjoyed it, its kind of nice to blush every now and again I think, lol.Thanks again Shirl:-)

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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment

had to read this with my hands over my eyes lol
great write..... tasteful - just.....
but extremely good descriptive
love judy

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Hope you didn't have too much trouble reading from behind your hands, lol.Thanks for commenting:-)

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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment

if writing the female perspective, it would help to write as the female (e.g., "I", "my" vs. "her"). I still get the sense of a man looking at and thinking about a woman rather than a woman experiencing. Obviously, there are all varieties of woman but when I think of writing erotica from a woman's perspective, I think of Boxer's "Innocence in Extremis" - I think an excerpt can be found on-line. Ah, it's hard to write of the intimacies of another!

Indeed you have done the female view point justice! erotic and sensual without being crude or vulgar. I especially love these lines:

A warm breeze,
caresses her body,
touching all,
in places seldom seen.

Eyes closed,
capturing fantasy,
hands follow,
the path of lovers,
leaving fingers wet.

You are doing a marvelous job with free verse! Keep up the good work!

always, cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

this is sensually exotic and erotically powerful write without an iota of perversion...great job...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Where are you? Are you alright? You are missed!

always, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

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