Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Selachian (eddy styx)
Selachian
for too long now
have I lived with the
bitter wound eternally festering
carcinoma in the cockles
of your heart
blind with an unrelenting
Judas Complex
Serrated edges of promises broken
shattered in the jaws
of your decayed lying
sharp-as-splinters teeth
you've taken your bites out of me
your love has changed me
transposed me predisposed me
that's my beating heart
lying on the tiles of the kitchen floor
yet you smile as lie upon lie
clings to your enticing lips
breathlessly I kiss the deceit
from that cool cherry-ripe mouth
greedily gobbling
your toxic candied kisses
while you scoop out my spleen!
*selachian
se•la•chi•an [sə láykee ən] noun
marine fish: a fish that belongs to the order that includes all sharks, rays, and skates. Order: Selachii
Comments
Janice Pearce
Thu, 2011-05-05 09:51
Cat
Another great write from "Eddie" ETERNAL FESTERING ON A SEPARATE LINE WOULD DO THIS JUSTICE? Also I think when it comes to the "teeth" there are too many adjectives thrown in there,just my humble opinion :)
Candlewitch
Mon, 2011-05-09 09:54
Dear Janice,
I will have to give your advice some thought. Before I make changes I will wait and see what others have to say on those points. Thank you so much for commenting.
always, eddy (& cat)
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Candlewitch
Mon, 2011-05-09 09:58
Dear Sweet Shirl,
It does get a little crowded in my head at times, lol, but the bed is all mine! Thanks for commenting.
always, eddy (& cat)
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Candlewitch
Mon, 2011-05-09 10:03
Dear Rosi,
You got it. Unfortunately, I've known too many people that fit this poem. But with knowing comes the talent of early recognition. I can now spot one of them at five hundred paces! LOL! Glad you liked it and the title.
love, eddy (& cat)
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
ziggy
Thu, 2011-05-05 16:57
hi cat
just when I thought I had seen your best you come here with this
I just want to read it over and over and I as yet would not change
a line, with lines like this "blind with an unrelenting
Judas Complex
Serrated edges of promises broken
shattered in the jaws
of your decayed lying
sharp-as-splinters teeth" what lines ,,,,,,,,,
I love the link with the judas complex
and the serrated edges ,,,,,,,,,,,,,
and these lines "yet you smile as lie upon lie
clings to your enticing lips
breathlessly I kiss the deceit
from that cool cherry-ripe mouth
greedily gobbling
your toxic candied kisses
while you scoop out my spleen!,,great ending in my humble opinion one of (eddy styx) best ,,,,,,zigs
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
Candlewitch
Mon, 2011-05-09 10:07
Dear Bro Ziggy,
You have picked out my favorite lines! Thanks for reading and telling me what you like. I very much appreciate it.
always, eddy (& cat)
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
lou
Fri, 2011-05-06 04:59
My God
Cat you are so talented, a fantastic use of words.
Much Love Always Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Candlewitch
Mon, 2011-05-09 10:11
Hi Lou!
I humbly accept the compliment and that takes some doing with an overinflated ego such as mine, LOL! (cat's ego is the standard model)
always, eddy (& cat)
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Candlewitch
Mon, 2011-05-09 10:15
Dearest Jayne-Chloe
You may have read this one before, but I have reworked it since its first showing. It is going in the "Book of Styx II" So I want opinions on the polished version.
always, eddy (& cat)
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
judyanne
Mon, 2011-05-09 06:05
awesome cat
nothing to crit...
favourite lines
'Serrated edges of promises broken
shattered in the jaws
of your decayed lying
sharp-as-splinters teeth'
love and hugs
judy
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Candlewitch
Mon, 2011-05-09 10:17
Judy!!!
It is so great to hear from you!!! How are you doing?
always, eddy (& cat)
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
mand
Mon, 2011-05-09 10:14
Hi Cat
Just brilliant, imagery is sooo powerful and gripping.
Brilliant
Love Mand xxxxxxxxxx
Candlewitch
Mon, 2011-05-09 10:19
Dear Mand,
Wow! a better endorsement I couldn't find! Thanks for reading and commenting!
always, eddy (& cat)
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.