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Delicious!...

Two pair of eyes in the darkness
Four ears to hear the hurt
The beating, thuds and whimpers
From the muzzle in the dirt

A snarling maw, a shadowy form
Two fists of fury hot
Teeth that shred and tear your flesh
Mercy... there is not

Your dog was ever loyal
He don't need this kind of grief
Now we're gonna torture you
When you die, you'll get relief

Killer kicks some ribs and breaks them
The Black... he rends his hand
Oozing blood and gasping breath
Will not let him stand

As death comes to glaze his eyes
Realisation comes too late
What comes around, goes around
He has sealed his fate

Anubis, comes to weigh your heart
It has such heaviness
No feelings for the misery
Killer cuts it from your chest

Cooking smells in the loft up high
Ground-up meat from such a sinner
Late T.V.... sigh of pleasure
This pair enjoying dinner

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

the murderest twins.
Wow, I love dark poetry.

You held me in your grip
with no escape
as I read
I screamed for help
But instead
I felt the blade of your sharpened
words.
scary how the gant of a poem
can carry you
straight to the grave

A fantistic piece of writting
Bravo!

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

that Killer and [new name pending] dog, have caught your fancy. They will be a fixture at the Chat on the Darkside, when the chats come back up. Hope to see you there. Thanks for the kind comments, ~ Gee

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author comment

Have not ventured in blood and gore via poetry before... it's graphic and intense.
A whole new experience. Thanks for sharing.

__________________________________________________
'write on! let these words free.'

new fans. When I started the Killer poems, I never thought that he would be so popular. Hope to see you at the Darkside. Thanks loads, ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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author comment

A romp through a poem with a tale,
somehow we know its only a tale
and told with gusto too
by the knight in shining armour,
now using his sword for two;
this was fun to read and well written.

Love from your queenie in the dark.
Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

of retribution, is always a popular one. People like to see others get what they have coming. I am most pleased to see the Queen is well. Sir Gee and Killer send their best. Love from your knight,

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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author comment

Your first few words lured me in and had me transfixed to the page! For a moment I was afraid that the baddies would win. I was especially afraid for the black. you keep writing them and eddy and I will keep on devouring them!

love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Killer and I will never let the bad guys win! The Black is about to undergo a name change: To Anubis.
He always gets to chew up the competion. I'm so glad that there are fans like you and eddy, we expect to see you on the Darkside chat when we get up and running. See ya there! ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

to have spoilt your dinner. Killer and the Black, [soon to be Anubis], are cannibals. This way, they get to get rid of the evidence, and have a good meal too! Thanks for the read, and the comments, I expect to see you on the Darkside chat too. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

people know that term, surprised to hear it from someone these days. Yes, long pig. Heh. Love those Bluebells, I have Morning Glories every year, that climb my fence and the tree. ~ Gee

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author comment

sure that you are right in saying that it still occurs, in the deep recesses of society, and that doesn't surprise me at all. Here in the States, we have had Jeffery Dahmer, and I think there are probably others.
Killer does lurk! I don't think he really knows what drives him to eat his victims, other than he really enjoys the taste. There may be a psychological reason, but he hasn't shared with me so far. Don't worry, he only eats bad guys these days. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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author comment

it goes. This is a wonderful and very well written. It hit the nail on the head with the first blow. This is a very strong poem, I know it came from the depths of your being. GREAT WRITE!!! Thank you for posting this. It tells me I ain't alone in this world.

Friends Always,

Pixee

alone, as long as you have me and Killer for friends. Heh! Haven't seen you writing lately, get busy! I'm sure that you have a bunch of pent up feelings to get out.
Friends always, ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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author comment

"Cooking smells in the loft up high
Ground-up meat from such a sinner
Late T.V.... sigh of pleasure
This pair enjoying dinner"
Give me shivers.

Justice has been served.

-..- -..- -..- -..- -..- -..-
Xtremely busy Xponentially becoming Xcellently at Xactly _____

as it should be! Thanks, ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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