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WHOLE

I am two halves of a common consequence
neither belittled or in awe,
life's work self portrait, half painted.
I am an echo in flesh
but something quite different in self appraisal.

Not better or worse
nothing here rehearsed.
Have skirted the perimeter of my elders eccentricity
before they have time to have forgotten me.

Drawn by those who have gone before
as to what lies ahead of me, inside of us
the departed trust, seeping lust
A legacy that must.

Generations link time in parting for us to think!
the living on the brink of now or never.
Possibilities that are never caught get severed.

Fought tooth and bitten nail
hardened fingertips play the forgotten scale.
Consequence that die in lonesome echos
drift longingly in wholesome remembrance.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Loved the "Whole" poem thanks for posting~

hey there cheers for checking this one out and the whole comment ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Very interesting way of putting it this,
I find you acrobat my mind through it and it likes the exercise;
unusual I think, great Ziggy, love from Ann

"possibilitys" possibilities.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

well hello again great to see you about, I acrobat your mind lol, now that was never said to me before ever lol
I do try and write a little different as I have no interest in saying the same thing in the same old way, thanks for the fix ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

I love your poem. It is an eye catch. Nice read! Read you later.

An poet is nothing without a soul
P.
Pixee

well hello there glad you approve and cheers for stopping by ,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Favorite lines:

Fought tooth and bitten nail
hardened fingertips play the forgotten scale,
Consequence that die in lonesome echos
drift longingly in wholesome remembrance.

It was very difficult to choose favorite lines as the whole piece is fantastic. You have wonderfully summed up a lifetime of energy and experiences. I am in awe of your prowess!
love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

cat I really do hope you get felling better soon I will mail you at the weekend mad busy ere, a good thing I guess lol, I am trilled you like this and you are bang on the nail as to your thoughts on this one ' you in awe of my prowess lmao
cat you are my inspiration ,,,,,,,,,,,zigs x

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Hello my friend Missed you and sorry for staying away from your words.. I shall resume.. I did a little formatting and read it out loud this way for flow. Discard if you wish..The feeling is in me of this and about this write. Good job Zigs. Missed you guy

I am two halves
Of a common consequence
neither belittled
Or in awe
life's work self-portrait

Half painted.
I am an echo in flesh
something quite different
In self-appraisal.

Not better or worse
nothing here rehearsed,
have skirted the perimeter
Of my elders eccentricity
before they have time to
Have forgotten me.

Drawn by those who have gone
Before me
as to what lies ahead
Of me
Inside of us
the departed trust
Seeping lust
a legacy that must.

Generations link time in parting
For us to think
the living on the brink
Of now or never,
possibilities that are never caught
Get severed.

Fought tooth and bitten nail
hardened fingertips play
The forgotten scale,
Consequence that die
In lonesome echoes
drift longingly

In wholesome remembrance.

Just did my tweak on it..Let me know what you think and it is definetly free verse... Blessings to you and the family and where is that picture of you
Mona xos

Great to hear from you again, I have been so busy its mad lol
I was trying a different formatting style on on this one, line
for spoken line sort of to speak, rather than the other but thank
you for taking the time you did on this its good that you noticed
sharp lol , I will check your writes out soon ,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

My favourite stanzas are one and two, a great statement of self worth. But I feel that your use of language wasn't as poetic as usual. Maybe it was the length of the lines that made me feel that ? Not sure.

But I enjoyed the poem.

Love Louise xx

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

yes I tried out a different formatting style in this one
a more simplistic line for spoken line sort of ,
I do prefer it my self so I am just trying it out
cheers ,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment
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