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Haiku IV

"The contours of earth
Are the roads traveled in life
Searching for our place"

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Eddie

地球の輪郭
人生で旅行される道路です
我々の場所を捜します

I thought a Japanese translation would be helpful! Lol!

I liked this one better than the other three you posted - it had a much deeper meaning.

Perfect syllable counts.

Good job,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

Che-Che,
地球の輪郭
人生で旅行される
LMAO

thanks bro, it's appreciated!

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

multi-lingual show offs lmao. It Is better that last two...............stan

Gracia por tu comentario!
Hahaha!

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

Mah multilinguahl expertise onlah exteynds ta Suthern aynd Anglish ya'll.............stan

Take your shoe off, y'all stays a spell. My lady is from New Orleans, Cajun at that. So now we're talking real American English.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

"If I'm drunk a write a Haiku about the deeper meaning of life, does that make me Japanese?"

thanks Ian and yes we're letting the bottles fly, duck there's one going your way. hahaha!

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

Ian,

the translation is not perfect!...It says:

An outline of the earth
It is a road traveled in
In the life I look for our place

but who cares, I was only trying show off anyway!!

There some sideway nines in there aren't there, good spot!!

Lol!

HS

--------------
Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
--------------
With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

That's terrible, that's what you get for showing off. lmao

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

This one is deeper,I think the idea of haiku is to make a person see it more as a shortform for an aphorism, a deeper meaning than just the words and syllable. It's a specific art that Basho did so very well. Keep working on it. I do on mine occasionally I get the urge :P

white crane over tree's
smoke from house seen from above
wisdom smiles on them

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

once in a blue moon I work a little. Hahaha!
But this ain't one of them.
It's better thanks, I have a few more that I will post at a later date

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

"The contours of earth
Are the roads traveled in life
Searching for our place"

i liked your Haiku and was inspired to come up with this one..

Under the awning
of a beautiful sky dome
we seek our abode

raj (sublime_ocean)

It's such a beautiful thing when a poem can inspire another poem that's so stunning. I hope you posted this one for everyone to enjoy!
Thanks for the generous comment.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

I really like your Haiku's Ed. Hope you had a Happy Easter with family and friends

Mona
xox

Thanks sweetie, I appreciate your thought. I don't celebrate Easter or any other catholic holiday
Again thank you anyway you enjoy yours.
Thanks for the comment on the poem

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

Happy Sunday just the same and keep on writing,,:)

The same to you!

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment
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