Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Vision Screen: The Bottom Line

On time is usual for me.
Today I was early enough
to enjoy the routine
of completing both sides
of two forms
like I did six months ago
and six months before.
I pressed information to the lines
in cursive form learned
via the Palmer Method.

I wrote
exact data
as the pervious pages
in my thick manila folder
resting next to the phone
on the receptionist’s counter.

All diagnostic signs
were the same as before
and multi-colored photos snapped through
the viewer showed no storm fronts
on what looked like Doppler weather maps.

The letters on the wall poster
were the same letters
I read before and before.

I read the bottom line.

Is that how the saying
about the bottom line originated?
Have I learned another contribution
of the Snellen Eye Chart?

Today’s “bottom line” was “no change.”
With persistent, steady effort
I pushed the wall labeled aging
back another notch
in a game I am destined to lose.
That’s the “bottom line.”

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
comment appreciated.
Editing stage: 

Comments

I had to smile at the eye chart reference and the 'aging' we are all destined to lose. It brings back memories of my grandmother who, when I was a child would say 'most of me is in the top dresser drawer' lol

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

I like “most of me is in the top dresser drawer."

vexations

author comment

lol My grandmother was Irish and with her false teeth, reading glasses etc she was pretty sure the best of her was in the drawer lol..she was insanely funny.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

My arms seem to lack required length at times lol..I will put off reading glass as long as I can though.
Matters not how we may rage
we'll never win this race
for nobody can out run age
or its effects on legs and face..........................liked YOUR poem better........stan

I like your little poem too. Not sure if this one would work or not.

vexations

author comment

Sure missed reading you mate. I read this twice and I think you nailed it here. I caught your intent and thought you did a good job in this storylike poetic writing. Will visit you more now that I know you have crept back in LOL

Blessings
Mona

glad to see you stopping by. Look forward to being a bit more active here and reading your work. Bill

vexations

author comment

wonderful poem , I can certainly relate to it too!
take care,
Tim

glad you can relate to the poem. Oh, on the other hand it might be better for you if you can’t.

vexations

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.