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DREADING SUMMER

Just memory now, the cold March wind
which made the bare trees sway and bend
tossing sedge fields into waving seas
causing early mornings' puddle freeze.

For now April has half worn out
and spring is blossoming about.
The days of dawning frosts are done
replaced by dewy sequins in the sun.

We'll greet the warm days while they last
for the southern heat approaches fast.
Ere long we'll mourn the cold that's lost
and yearn for return of autumn's frost.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Comments

We've already hit 86 up here. People who have never lived through a steamy summer down south have no idea do they? lol Good of you to drop in................stan

author comment

I like to give this an check here.

Just memory now the cold March wind

Perhaps

Just a memory now, this cold March wind

which made the bare trees sway and bend

Which make the bare trees sway and bend

causing early morning puddle freeze

Causing early mornings' puddle freeze

I just worked on the first part and let me know if any of these suggestions work for you. I got the image of the write but feel you can polish this one up a bit and still hold the image steadfast.

Blessings
Mona

Had actually considered putting in that comma and will do so.think I'll keep made as the memory is of a pst event. like the mornings' and will use. Thanks for the ideas and time to read............stan

author comment

I am happy when one can use one or two of my ideas or/and none. I like this write Scribe. You are improving on your flow I see and feel it

Blessings
Mona

i just keep trudging along and do what I can..................stan

author comment

sings to me and reminds me that I best enjoy the beauty of this day. Is it just me, or do others’ nerves grate with the overuse of the word “write” to refer to a poem? I seldom see it used on other poetry sites. Oh well, I do live with other much bigger and greater irritations.

vexations

always good to see you. You know I have actually written POEMS (lol) titled Winter's Song and Summer's Song. but am having trouble with spring as it is difficult to keep it from being cliche'. Glad you enjoyed this little one though.........stan

author comment

I can't say how much I liked this, I found it to be quite beautiful.This is exactly the kind of post that I one day strive to write.Thank you for sharing, it is great.

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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

Oh a new avatar! Glad you liked this. I just write what I see and try to make it sound OK...............scribbler

author comment

I think I'll start calling you Rose instead of Rosi due to your blooming out as you have. Even in the dead of winter, I dread the summer's heat. Working outdoor as I do, I can always put more clothes on but can only shed them to a point lest I send children running and dry up neighbor's milk cow lol. Thanks for coming by...........stan

author comment

The worst part of summer is trying to find a thong to fit lmfao (laughing my fat ass off) I read once that you could tell what climate a person comes from by whether they like spring or summer best. Those who prefer spring come from a place where extended winters make them crave return of heat. Those who prefer autumn come from places where extended hot summers make folk crave return of cool and dread the heat that spring portends..............lesson over, there will be a test on Monday lol............stan

author comment

I for one long for the heat again, we didn't have much of a summer here in Australia this year, am heading to California for some much needed sun and fun but I guess everything gets old once you experience it year after year, even snow lol which to us Aussies is still a novelty.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

People think Australia and think of an island. I know it's a Large land mass with wide variations in climate. Do you come from southern part? I realize the difference can be as great as from the deep south here in the states to the upper mid-west. I don't mind a bit of heat as long as I'm not working in it lol. Have a good trip here to the States and if you get a chance to make it to the east coast come for a visit.............scribbler

author comment

We are just the largest island in the world lol...I come from the south, Melbourne in Victoria so our climate is fairly moderate with winter being around the 40's and 50's most of the time but our summer can be a stinker with humidity which it was this year but we only had a few days here and there as it rained most of this one, not a bad thing considering we've had drought for 10 yrs. We got like a years rainfall in 2 months and parts of the country were badly affected. Then we had cyclones lol so it's a country of extreme's sometimes. Our summer down here usually hovers between 70's to high 90's but can on occasion turn nasty and get upwards of 110 which is not nice at all. We were hotter than the Sahara in 2010 lol was one for the record books, we get the winds off the desert in the middle of our country and that can make it very unpleasant in deed but 80% of the time it's lovely. Thanks I will enjoy my holiday, I love California and I went to the East Coast a couple of years back and stayed in Massachussetts and Virginia which was great fun as well as seeing NYC

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

We are just the largest island in the world lol...I come from the south, Melbourne in Victoria so our climate is fairly moderate with winter being around the 40's and 50's most of the time but our summer can be a stinker with humidity which it was this year but we only had a few days here and there as it rained most of this one, not a bad thing considering we've had drought for 10 yrs. We got like a years rainfall in 2 months and parts of the country were badly affected. Then we had cyclones lol so it's a country of extreme's sometimes. Our summer down here usually hovers between 70's to high 90's but can on occasion turn nasty and get upwards of 110 which is not nice at all. We were hotter than the Sahara in 2010 lol was one for the record books, we get the winds off the desert in the middle of our country and that can make it very unpleasant in deed but 80% of the time it's lovely. Thanks I will enjoy my holiday, I love California and I went to the East Coast a couple of years back and stayed in Massachussetts and Virginia which was great fun as well as seeing NYC

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

Lovey write. its in the 80's here back and forth to the 60's, 40's at times

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I'm just outside Clemson and the weather is up and down like a yo-yo here too. Always good to see fellow Carolinian show up on my page and glad you enjoyed this..............stan

author comment

You words carry the reader along so easily. It's your art. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

thank you..............stan

author comment

Yes Joe I remember the blizzards of 1947 too when the whole river was frozen over and we skated on it, my aunt with muff and fur edged 1930's type clothes sideways on to her partner dancing. Yes I too love the changes of weather, the lack of them becomes one continuity that can become a loss of variety. My aunt who emigrated to Australia, missed the bare Winter trees, their majestic skeletons, and was so excited by them when she came back to visit them.
She too was very poetic, adored poetry.

Stan you are like me a northerner, our blood responds to it and we are at home in it. Like my sister's daughter who visited Norway at 8 yrs. she said it was nice, the Summer having been scorching hot for us, but how she missed the rain, in her Scottish accent! Oh aye we are Nordic, and others are the opposite and where our physique fits, so do we. The coloured people lack vitamin D because of the dark months in Norway.

Love to you you lover of nature from another lover of nature in all her dresses, Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

I am sorry you somehow got the idea I m from the north. I am from South Carolina."Southern born, Southern bred, when I die I'll be Southern dead; roll me in corn meal and throw me in oil and I'll be Southern fried' LMAO. Not that is really matters just wanted you to know............stan

author comment

Sorry Stan, its the nature of nature to be so felt in the north, sh! Oops, I don't know but the cooler climates attract the sort of descriptions you make about nature so well sensed and understood, we see with you when you write, but I am mistaken about your whereabouts, I apologise. Oh southern lord. I am still a Northener (?-how to spell that then?). But its hot in Summer sometimes too hot for me in Norway; drier than Britain that wee island.

I don't know where I shall be when I'm dead, well just before then, its possible someone else will decide where I am to be, who knows as Joe said.

Love to you wherever you are we love to read your poetry Stan, and love to your wife too from me.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

LOL no need apologize for mistake in my locale. I am not of my grandfather's generation where being mistaken for a northerner would be considered an insult. Just thought you'd like to know where my scribbles originate ( see , I didn't even call you a Yankee LMAO)............stan

author comment

A lot of southerners that I talk to consider Maryland a northern state(and yes I've even been called a "Yankee" before, lol).But Maryland use to be known as the jewel of the south.Strange how things change with time, lol.Just a small tidbit since locals were brought up.

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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

Maryland and most of Kentucky were both southern state which were occupied by northern troops just prior to the start of the war between the states. Thus they had little choice in which side they were on. More tidbits: other names used to describe "uncivil war"....war between the states...war of northern aggression...war of secession(these 3 are common)...the recent unpleasantness....the calamity( used by the gentry who thought the mere mention of war was crude lol)

author comment
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