Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Pulsation
Rumbling, pounding, shaking, sounding,
Rushing, roaring, emotions soaring,
Screaming, dreaming, stomach squeaming,
Shaking, quaking, pulse is racing,
Leaping, squeaking, no time for speaking,
Dashing, daring, extremely scaring,
Churning, turning, muscles burning,
Ride the roller coaster!
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Although, normally, you shouldn't use ing ending words for rhyming, this was an experiment a few years agos to see if I could capture the feeling of riding on a roller coaster.
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
magics02
Fri, 2011-04-22 10:56
Sounds like a tornado Rett
Wow your expressive write got me in a whirlwind. It is spell bounding (ing) and you got it moving. Good job Texan. Hope to see you soon in chat.
Happy Easter to you and the family
Ms Mona
Rett
Sat, 2011-04-23 11:32
Thanks Mona
Glad you enjoyed it. Happy Easter.
Respectfully,
Rett
"If all printers were determined not to print anything till they were sure it would offend nobody, there would be very little printed. " Ben Franklin
author commentCCfire
Fri, 2011-04-22 11:06
Actually made me feel sea
Actually made me feel sea sick reading it and as roller coasters have that effect on me and I don't ride them often I'd say it worked well here..now if you'll excuse me I think I need to find a bucket! :P
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
Rett
Sat, 2011-04-23 11:35
LOL Sorry Chez
I hear Dramamine helps. Never been motion sick except for twice in my life. One was playing a computer game where I was in hallways (I have a touch of claustrophobia) and the other was when I came down with vertigo. Wow, that was fun!
Glad you think it came over well.
Respectfully,
Rett
"If all printers were determined not to print anything till they were sure it would offend nobody, there would be very little printed. " Ben Franklin
author commentlou
Sat, 2011-04-23 04:45
Hi
I love the way this poem builds to a crescendo, it felt as if it might burst by the end.
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Rett
Sat, 2011-04-23 11:36
Thanks lou
I appreciate it. I was trying to capture the feeling and excitement of a really good roller coaster.
Respectfully,
Rett
"If all printers were determined not to print anything till they were sure it would offend nobody, there would be very little printed. " Ben Franklin
author comment