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Communicate to Eviscerate

Words stripping nerves like a blade to a sapling,
destruction of the delicate ear drumb,
and violation of the brain cells.

Syllables assault the senses,
scorching empathy,
and striking me down.

Verbs, Adverbs, phrases and terms
scratching at the soul,
Ripping and stretching.

A withering glance says
more than mere language,
it burns me to the core.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

the idea was that I wanted to use words that had sounds that I enjoy.

Thanks

Love Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

I to had to go to the dictionary!

Love these words:-

"Words stripping nerves like a blade to a sapling",

My friend had a problem with the nerves in her face ( neuralgia ) , her pain was called suicide pain. Words can cause extreme pain. Metaphorically like a blade to a sapling, cutting and slicing into soft tissues, as it were.

Great imagery,

Thanks for sharing Lou.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

Thanks, maybe I should get rid of the big words, I think they are getting in the way.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

It's great as it is - a little bit of work is good for us, besides the big words are powerful.

Love Mand xxxxxx

I have already taken them out, I'll try and come up with more suitable replacements.

Love Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

I very much enjoyed your word usage and particularly the word eviscerate in the title.Great post Lou:-)

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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

Thank you, I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

what a read with great imagery and word usage
a little different I feel but well constructed as I see it
"Words stripping nerves like a blade to a sapling,
destruction of the delicate ear drumb,
and violation of the brain cells.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,v good opening lines ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

Thank you, I'm glad that you enjoyed this one.

Love Louise xx

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

I like the title to this, especially if your intention of the
word "eviscerate" is the second meaning (in Webster's)
"to disembowel or deprive of vital content or force"
great word huh.

A couple of suggestions, eardrum is one word,
and I felt the transition from "words" to the "look"
could have been smoother and more affective if
you were to somehow convey that all those words
are not needed "when" that cutting look can do it
so succesfully, just one old man's thoughts

perhaps the title would be more grammatically correct
it were "communicating to eviscerate", describing the
action ... but either way, I have to say I liked it.

thanks for posting

Richard

Thanks Richard.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment
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