Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

BEYOND LAST FROST

I've missed the smell of honeysuckle
and sweet magnolia blooms
seeping through night's open windows
and permeating darkened rooms

For spring is here and winter's gone
the world is colored now by life
dabbed with water color pastel brushes
it seems the shades have all run rife

Then there are the varied greens
from olive drab to emerald bright
adding a subtle pollen smell
through out the day into the night

Now orchestras play from the marsh
and fireflies are burning for a mate
dry fly rhythms loud and harsh
bull frogs burp as they deliberate

Summer's bane buzzes my ear
as doves mourn about lost youth
a skunk somewhere has got a fright
a far off whiff but still uncouth

Bats flickering in early eve
as swallows quit their shift
the rising moon blinks off and on
across its face scattered clouds drift

Night settles now completely in
old whippoorwill begins his song
we'll sit here on our old back deck
but then go in before too long

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Have I gotten back up to speed?
Editing stage: 

Comments

This is what it is like being bitten by the bug of Spring! My favorite lines:

For spring is here and winter's gone
the world is colored now by life
painted by water color's pastel brush
it seems the shades have all run rife

We got two inches of snow yesterday! The audacity of Mother Nature, to ruin my beautiful picture with her scalpel of bitter winter! Then the snow turned to rain and it all melted pretty quick.

Good title, interesting content, flows well and great language usage!

love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Alas we pay for our early spring down here with the summer's length lol. Always good to have you come by........stan

author comment

Beautfully worded and crafted. So many wonderful images of spring. I love the title.

A true delight to read, I'd like to pick a favourite stanza but I love them all.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

so you think my few days off worked? Always good to have you read and comment...............stan

author comment

It seems spring is going straight to summer here also. Take your pad and pen on your walk in case the muse strikes....................stan

author comment

I enjoyed every word. It is a nice piece. Keep on penning you do have the touch.

Friends,

Pixee

Always nice when you alight on my page. Thank you for the time to read and leave such nice comment................scribbler

author comment

Stan,

I said in the past that poems about nature don't really work for me. I guess it has all been done before and it is the same words in different order but still in the end, all the same.

And so I read yours quickly, deciding I wasn't going to enjoy it, but I like you and thought I should at least read it since it you have taken the time to write it and share it.

I the missed the whole rhyming thing in the first read, as I was really trying to concentrate on the image you were painting.

Second read showed me what a careful and clever rhymer you are and the flow and tempo was sublime.

I read it for a third time and realised I really liked it, but was not sure why and i still don't know why your poem of a theme i don't like...touched me...but it did.

I have just read a poem by Lorielli and also one by Raj, all about nature and yours and theirs all gave me a feeling of tranquility.

I seem to live my life unaware of the nature around me. Today I am going to take my dog for a walk and take in the nature and breathe it.

I have no idea what a "whippoorwill " is by the way.

Stan, you have awoken me to what was always there just outside my window. I am ditching the laptop, the eReader, the iPod, the Blackberry and the Sat nav...and I'm going to walk freely with just me and my dog, no technology, just pure nature.

I have no suggestions for changing because this version really got to me.

Thanks for this,

HS

--------------
Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
--------------
With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

A whippoorwill is a night bird which sings loudly at night during mating season . It is the same 3 notes over and over : Whip......poor..will. To hear its volume you would think it at least the size of a goose but it is little larger than a mocking bird. Don't ditch your modern impliments permanently as running workshops would be kind of slow via post office lol. Good of you to drop in and flatter me with your enjoyment of this...........stan

author comment

Stan,

thanks for the explanation...I don't think this bird is native in UK, so I guess that's why I hadn't heard it or heard of it.

Maybe a nude workshop would be good for really getting into the natural feel!!

LOL!

HS

--------------
Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
--------------
With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

I could pick another bod for my avatar to avoid all running screaming with dismay. Let's not get TOO carried away lmnao(laugh my nude ass off)..............stan

author comment

your rhyming and sense of nature are flawless! I too felt the effects of your poem. To get Dan to ditch his electronic gear for the day, and take his dog for a walk, is quite an achievement! [Not that he doesn't walk his dog], but sans I-Pod, Blackberry, and Nav.? Amazing! Just a tiny bump in the rhythm, maybe you could use [drawn] instead of painted? ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I was also shocked that any write of mine could have such an effect on someone. I had considered using "drawn" in that line and decided to sacrifice rhythm for accuracy as water colors are painted not drawn. But thank you for the suggestion anyway. and don't ever hesitate to keep them coming as I Do use a lot of them. Thanks for taking time to drop by.................stan

author comment

Gee

Lol!

HS

--------------
Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
--------------
With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.