Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Words

You got your pocket full of ten-dollar words,
all precise and proper,
way too educated for a man like me ...

except;
I can see the want-to in your look,
the squirm in your seat,
where the shiver-me-here
is apparent ...

and me;
unable to contain myself,
the whisper of words is all that's left ...
I want you

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

This is subtly sensual and just a delight to read.
Your ending line is simply stated and all that is needed.
The only change I would make is:

"way to educated for a man like me ..."

to should be "too"

Other than that, I would leave this alone. You have used brevity in verse quite well and everything you needed to say was said. Just lovely. ~Pamela

.. .

~"It's ALL about the Poetry~

Please join us in The Shark Pool

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it, ain't it just like me to
make a spelling error ... thanks!

Richard

author comment

appreciate the tip-o-the-hat ... right back at ya!

Richard

author comment

I bow to you and the magic you use to weave your poems. Talk about the value of words, these are worth their weight in gold.
Eddie C

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

Thank you sir, a bow back to ya ...

author comment

Thank you so much for your honesty, it's a very good
quality. I had left this title simple, but now I may have to
come up with something else ... thanks!

My sister doesn't have a computer yet, she is working
on it though.

Richard

author comment

They Do say most men marry up lol. Have to agree about title needing work though.............stan

thanks Stan ... agree about the title, got any suggestions?

author comment

UNSPOKEN WORDS ?

Enough Said? I really enjoyed this one, Richard. As the others have said: Brevity, is good! Just what I wish, that I might have said. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.