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Mr.Jones,

The long wait,
can not leave this place
to far in between
how much more
can I take,

I can hear
Mr. Jones knocking
at my door
hands begin to shake
is there no escape

Blood pulsating
need screaming
in my head
YES, YES, yes,
NO!!
where is the out

what must I do
to be rid of this burden
who goes by the name
of Mr. Jones

"body aching,
have the shakes
Jones coming down"

well ,
for now I'll just have
one more cigarette
and push Mr. Jones away

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
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Last few words: 
I had given it up, but I let it come back with a venges, Second time around so I add a stanza
Editing stage: 

Comments

Thank you,, addiction to one thing or another is aways hard to break.
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

I think you need 'too' far in that first stanza rather than 'to far' but this is darker than I have read from you, it's good to see a different perspective from another poet.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

this is not the "too" of (furthermore), it is the to of a direction
If you ask any one here that was all i use to write dark poetry. I just changed trains when the new site went up. I love dark poetry. my fav. are Emily Dickinson, and E.A Poe.
I'm glad you liked this
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

Just me reading it wrong lol..I get it..Emily dark? Hmmm I just think she was a frigid old biddy who had the shits on the world lol...::P

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

Actually she lost the Love of her life and also her closes friend, she was in so much pain that she closed herself out from the world. when you know this and read her you can feel her pain.
She never got over it.
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

her or Plath much and I had a friend once who likened some of my stuff to them and I ran away screaming I was going to gas myself lol

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

am I glad you didn't, I did not want to smell it all the way over here. Gas always travels up and north. hahaha!
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

One I haven't licked yet!

Respectfully,
Rett
"If all printers were determined not to print anything till they were sure it would offend nobody, there would be very little printed. " Ben Franklin

This old pirate thought he did, but along came Mr. Jones. really what it was I went out with friends had a couple of drink after not drinking in years, so hand in hand they came drink and ciggs. Now here I am smoking a pack a day again.
It sure is rough and Tough
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment
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