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A Lifetime of Love

How quickly the time has passed
since the day you became my wife.
After all this time it feels as though
we’ve been together all of my life.
They have been mostly good years
the difficulties have been few.
And the best thing I have ever done
is to fall in love with you.

Now we have reached a special time
a celebration of a lifetime together.
We just want our life and love
to go on and just last forever.
You know how much I love you
and what you mean to me.
So I just want to wish you now
a happy anniversary.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
Ruby Wedding
Editing stage: 

Comments

Congrats!!
please let me suggest something, with no major change.
In the first stanza you used AB good, but you need to remove the second life
In the the second stanza the AB sounds forced or strained, it loses the flow of the first stanza. which is strong. think about if you want to, this is your write not mine. so I might see it differently. it is a heart warming write, I'm sure your lovely wife enjoyed it
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

Eddie, I've done a second edit, do you think it's improved things?
Tim

author comment

Thank you Eddie! I have revamped it a little.
Tim

author comment

Hi Shirley, It is a new poem written today and I've just done a second edit which I hope has made it better?
Eddie's prompt for me to have a rethink has helped me make it better, I hope!
take care,
Tim

author comment

Please don't be upset, this is good or rather better
But maybe these to lines might give it a little more,
like this
"We just want our life and love - We just want our love and life
to go on and just last forever." - To carry on forever and ever

The to evers give more imphasis on the life and love,
the just is for me like a place to stop in love
and I do believe that is your intention here.
Use it if you want or not, what you have now is very good
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

Thanks again Eddie.
Tim

author comment

Congrats. I never critique poems written to loved one on such occasions, just bask in the joy of them..........scribbler

Thanks for the response Scribbler.
Tim

author comment

I would never crit a poem when it's one of celebration and love such as this, I am sure she will love it.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

Thank you Chez
take care,
Tim

author comment

Hello Tim I have not seen you in a long while. Probably minding my other business lol

I really like this poetic write to your wife. No crit here for this is personal and heartfelt.

I do feel it though and I know this is a genuine write. Great job

Miss talking to you

Love
Mona

Hi Mona,
Lovely to hear from you,
Many thanks,
Tim

author comment

you writing about such a time for the two of you. I link to follow you. I hope you don’t mind.

vexations

Of course I don't mind, thanks.
Tim

author comment

just remember,
if you may,
the sojourn is more pleasant,
than the destination
always..

loved

Loved-- thanks for the nice comment,
Tim

author comment
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