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For one last moment

I’d gladly walk a thousand miles
Naked and shoeless
and without bread or water
hoping to eat and drink of you
holding you in my embrace

I could sleep on a bed of nails
and still dreaming of you
If upon awakening, I could feel
the rise and fall of your chest

I would give my eyes to an Artist in need
for you are etched in my memories
If you promised I could see you within

My ears I would give to a deaf musician
In the hope that I could hear you whisper
with your angelic voice my name

everyday I would call out
in hope that you would hear and answer

For you I would lay my heart on a plate
with every beat professing my love
And give it to someone starving
so they would know how love does taste

If the serpent should bite filling my veins
making my head feel light
I will suck the venom
with all my might
hoping ithis would take me to you
before the sun would give me up to night

And still I travel light years
Never knowing if I’ll ever find you
My body weak and drained of life
yet hope will still be alive

I can hear a faint murmur
Of this my redemption song
I leave my pen with a poet
so as to tell my story
to grant me back my soul
so we could live again
in our blissful glory!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Co-write Shirley and Eddie. what a pleasure it is to collaborate with someone the give and take of two minds is what I live for. thanks Little Witch loads of fun.
Editing stage: 

Comments

You are right there is a certainmagic when two poets come together. I love it myself, for so many reasons.
Writing with Shirley is fun and hilarious. She is truly a ball of energy, and I like her way of looking at things
One day I would like to write something with you, just to see you process. There is such a great learning experience writing with another poet.
Thank you so much J.
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

I made one of the changes JC suggested. The other I left for you, and you changed it immeidiatly. that say a lot about you to me.
thanks for everything
Yes I do trust you, that's why I told you.
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

I had forgtten about it. It was tons of fun. I loved seeing the minds at work.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

too often in my experience you can easily tell who wrote which part. Not so here . Wouldn't be me if I didn't have a few ideas and here they are :
L-3 delete and
L-5 try could I hold you in my embrace
L-6 delete "the sharpest"
L-7 try and still dream of you
L-8 try If upon awakening, I could feel
stanza 7
If a serpent should bite
filling my veins with venom
making my head feel light
s-7,L-6 change"oo" to "to"

as usual feel free to use any or none, 'cause this poem is good as is................stan

I used your suggestion, thanks
EC

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment
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