Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Is There No End To This Road
.
on the path of light
a patch of shade
shall I dwell a moment
in respite
and familiarity
playing shadow games
with memories
or shall I don
my heliotropic sunglasses
bare the harsh awakenings
and walk beyond
trailing shadows
until "that which is not known"
releases me
pacing
a circular rut of indecision
as if I really had a choice
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
CCfire
Wed, 2011-04-06 02:38
I think you have an errant 'e
I think you have an errant 'e' in releases..I loved the beginning of this, it reminded me of Plath and that slightly dark but very vivid imagery. I thought it kind of lost its way in the last stanza with the use of the colloquial 'balls' lol but it's my opinion..I just enjoyed the first two stanza's very much.
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
brittle light
Wed, 2011-04-06 03:15
thanks for your thoughts. I
thanks for your thoughts. I did a quick fix of the last stanza...I'll let it soak for awhile...see If it holds up any better
'til next time
Al
author commentCCfire
Wed, 2011-04-06 03:54
Well I like it better, still
Well I like it better, still perhaps needs that 'aha' moment but as it's in draft stage I am sure you will find the perfect ending :)
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche