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Ageing battle years...

Ageing battle years….

Biting my lip till it bleeds
staring at dusty boots,
I wipe away snot and tears
wondering where times went
six months I’ve stood
this task, Smithy says
“we’re ageing battle years”

Escaped another scrap feeling
old despite my youth.
so close, this one, aye my lip
hurts must be my chipped tooth.
“Battling years old teeth.” ha.

Wonder what the children are
doing, missing them like hell,
last time I saw their smiling eyes
boy did they look good.

Did anyone see my fear
or was it just imagined,
not so sure I’ll make it now,
“bodies aged battle years.”

Oh no, here they come
jesus h my stomachs sore,
fuck! that was close deep breaths
you know the score.
Steady now he’s in your sight,
wonder if they’re young, breath,
gentle squeeze, he’s down,
down with what’s already flung.
Move now don’t stay static long,
lazy soldiering gets their job
done easy, what is that bloody song.
Can’t remember mind’s tired,
“It’s ageing battle years.”

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I've heard it said, that it ages the soldier..
Editing stage: 

Comments

short on time to read carefully but 1st impression is great.................stan

Thank you Stan, Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

to my surprise, i enjoy this :) i like the rhyme, the way you break it..kinda rap like but still poetic. i enjoy the tone, the voice, the rawness and the way you weave the words together. i don't have any critique. i like your style

Thank you, i was trying to imagine how a soldier might feel. And this was the result, thank you again, Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment
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