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The "Funce"

Submitted by docmaverick on Mon, 2011-03-28 11:39

Omni, swirling gusts of wind
the cold, it chaps...and burns,
as my stance grows so, suspitious
from a "purchase", barely earned.

Wrestling the invisible
an adversary with much might,
weariness invades my attempts
to get my fence, "upright".

The wire becomes an issue
both, my hands keep losing, "grips",
while knitting this wired fence
I'm creating havoc, on my hips!

But, more than Virtues' patience
another "trait", deserves a glance,
I'm doing what's in front of me
that trait's called, "perserverance".

My fence has turned out, stellar
to this day, points towards the sun;
I endured, and did the work
the wind merely made it, "fun"!

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

docmaverick

Sat, 2011-04-02 06:57

docmaverick's picture

the title was merely a combination of the words, "fun"...and "fence"....which, in my tiny mind...coagulates together, as the word "funce"!
Happy that it brought a smile. Take care, now;
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

Hooded Stranger

Tue, 2011-03-29 09:28

Hooded Stranger's picture

Doc,

good title, I assumed you'd spelt it wrong until I got to the last line.

You do have the canny knack of taking the reader on your journey. It is crafted in a way that you have to keep reading as you know there will be an ending and you can't wait to see what it is, depite our own efforts to guess before we get there.

My Son has a request for you...he would like you to re-post the 'Gnome' poem...which you did in about 50 pieces!...we didn't keep a copy and we wish we had.

Can you re-post or Pm it to me...thanks.

YOu really are the Neo-champ of rhyming...along with Scribbler.

Great tempo and flow...I will return to read again.

kind regards,

HS

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docmaverick

Sat, 2011-04-02 07:29

docmaverick's picture

...Sir Hood. Well, well....you've discovered my way to insure that I'm at least being, read! The ol' docmaverick surprise ending trick, eh?
All seriousness, aside....I will dig around, and see what I can see. His name was Fred, the King of the Gnomes. I appreciate your comments....you're right, you know...I DO try and have some sort of "pay-off" @ the end of the poem, the trouble is, I fall short most of the time.
At any rate.....I'll find all that I have on ol' Fred, and try and "write" a "happy ending", this time.
by the by, you're no stranger than anyone else.....in any "hood";
sincerely,
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

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