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Shok Wave
its there
the part
the play
within the curve
the smooth hinge
motion
the turn
and look
each portion
I taste
each night
burning
like a fire ship
today Im a ghost
today Im haunting
my own reflections
all I dream about
is you
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Region & Country
north ontario
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Comments
Geezer
Thu, 2011-03-31 11:13
The yearning...
comes through very clearly here. I think you are asking yourself if there is anything that you could have or should have done differently. Just my take. ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Esker
Fri, 2011-04-01 11:55
Yes could I have done things differently..
that always goes through my mind
a muse told me I Think it too much
and yes she is correct
but of course that only makes
me go over things even more
in depth
author commentNordic cloud
Thu, 2011-03-31 12:37
Shock?
I give a smile,
a turn
and one smile more,
Ann
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Esker
Fri, 2011-04-01 11:57
Shok
all my titles are odd
its just a title
maybe Im just trying too hard at times
the classic old movies
and takes
even in old photography the black
and whites
thats what i was raised with
and I try to make pictures with
words here
its rather hard at times
but rewarding when it works well
author commentmagics02
Thu, 2011-03-31 13:22
Esker
Just some tweaks to this one or please tell me if you do not use correct punctuations as I know some writers choose not to. This way I will know not to edit or suggestt that part of your writing:)
today Im a ghost
today Im haunting
my own reflections
today I'm
today I'm
and in the it's there - your first line
title- Shock wave?
I like how your flow of thoughts rally down the page and your ending is conclusive to that thoughts. Free flow is good
Blessings
Mona
Florida
Esker
Fri, 2011-04-01 12:02
punctuation
I thought i was writing without punc's because I
just didnt know where all the correct symbols would
be included but i just remembered that i write
these fast and that its just faster to write it out
without them and I did so poorly in english
that i feel like im rebelling with them even though
as you notice I put an apostrophe in the first line
author commentmagics02
Fri, 2011-04-01 13:07
Esker
I hear you and sometimes when I am typing fast I am neither interested in punctutations so I know just what you are saying. Do not worry just continue your writing as your voice and your soul comes through plenty good..
Blessings
Mona