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Political Babble: A Call to War
Through spin and smoke
they hear him say
"Blessed are violent men...
who protect our graven images.”
Inducements hover above
patriotic subjects
“noble are warriors
uniformed, camouflaged,
destined for death
or better, living champions
parading each holiday
their missing limbs,
their medals of honor
their sacrifice.
Blessed are people made violent
protecting our
golden calf.”
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Race_9togo
Fri, 2011-04-01 00:19
Hello Vex,
I just wanted to sneak in beofre anyone else did and tell you how good I think this is.
The title I only partly got: did you mean A Call To War?
The theme is absolutely wonderful, you have used to it to great effect, and the beginning and ending here are extremely good, imo. I particularly like they way you've woven biblical implications into this, and I love
"Inducements hover above
patriotic subjects"
for its double meaning of "subjects", and the implications that it raises.
I have read this several times, and cannot find anything to criticize, except that maybe "golden calf" should not be on its own line, but that is just a personal preference, it does not detract from the poem at all. Perhaps one more learned could find something.
This is extremely good, and I have bookmarked it.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
vexations10
Fri, 2011-04-01 07:25
Thanks
I can’t believe I overlooked that title typo! Your comments are very kind. Thank you
vexations
author commentmagics02
Fri, 2011-04-01 02:16
Vex
First nice to see you back and secondly I like to come back to this one as it is wee hours of morning and brain not well.. Reads well so far..
Blessings
Mona
Geezer
Fri, 2011-04-01 10:20
So true...
I wonder what the rest of the world would do, if they gave a war, and we didn't come? Nothing to crit, you have put together a well crafted work. ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
vexations10
Fri, 2011-04-01 11:00
Thanks
I appreciate the read and comment
vexations
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