Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Cursed Or Blessed (eddy styx) Warning controversial content!
Cursed or Blessed
Oh the pain and pleasure
of the living soul
The agony or the ecstasy
It’s our decision
Individually alone to make
So inconsequentially
Which road to take
The living hell
Each breath does make
Oh fool you of the fleshy bondage
Are you not at all aware
of the irony of your senseless groping
The endless pain of love forsaken
Or the noncommittal chances taken
On a grand scale of nothing ventured
Nothing gained
From all loves pleasures
hence abstained
And so you’ve been told
That you’ve been blessed
By God’s sweet loving tenderness
The human favorite granted choices
The gifted one of hungry voices
And still you have not guessed
Instead of cursed you call it blessed
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
Thanks to Dan for his pre-posting critique. I'm still considering the change you suggested but I want to see what others have to say before I make a change.
For those of you who don't know, eddy styx is my male alter ego.
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
User login
Author information
Region & Country
Northwestern Wisconsin USA
Favorite Poets
Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda and many more.
Comments
Candlewitch
Fri, 2011-04-01 10:59
Dear Chrys,
Thank you so much for your input. It is appreciated.
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentlou
Tue, 2011-03-29 06:02
Sorry
Cat,
I have trouble finding fault with your work.
Love as always Lou
xx
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Candlewitch
Fri, 2011-04-01 11:00
Thanks, Lou,
You always make me laugh!
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentHooded Stranger
Tue, 2011-03-29 09:16
Cat
Cat,
it is good that you haven't yet made the change(s) I suggested, it is always a good idea to get a wider audience first. It will be interesting to see what suggestions you get.
This is one of my favourite Styx II poems...although the other 100 are close behind!! Lol!
Did you write this before or after your hospital episode?
I have nothing else to add as I have already critiqued, but I will be watching for suggestions.
regards,
HS
--------------
Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
--------------
With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
Candlewitch
Fri, 2011-04-01 11:02
Dear Dan,
This piece isn't getting too many responses. Maybe that in itself is a response. I may have unintentionally offended the readers. I hope it isn't so.
love, Sis
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentHooded Stranger
Mon, 2011-04-04 13:46
Cat
Cat,
you're getting more responses now. I really don't think you've offended anybody with this piece...not that I've heard anyway.
Patience!...this is too good not to be in the mighty book!
HS
--------------
Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
--------------
With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-04-05 10:19
Thanks, Dan,
I sure hope I didn't offend anyone, I didn't mean too. Yes this will go in the book, probably as the last piece. The book is getting pretty hefty, LOL! Thanks for the thumbs up!
love, Sis
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentziggy
Tue, 2011-03-29 12:11
hi cat
so your considering possible changes to this one,
I have read this a few times now and can only think
any changes would only need to be slight as it reads
well to me as is, but I will return to see what you have done to
this, love this
"Oh fool you of the fleshy bondage
Are you not at all aware,,,,,,,,,(this line could be changed about a little but I feel it would only change its sounding)
of the irony of your senseless groping
The endless pain of love forsaken
Or the( non-committal) chances taken,,,,,,,,great wording as per usual ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
Candlewitch
Fri, 2011-04-01 11:06
Dear Bro Ziggy,
I haven't been able to make up my mind about the changes. I think I'm grid-locked, either that or constipated... Thanks for the read, and by-the-way... it is soooooo good to have you back on neo!
love, Sis
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commenthobo
Fri, 2011-04-01 11:20
nice write
This is a very nice write, I love the content of everything you have said in this poem. very nice
You can never pick anyone up if you are busy putting them down
Candlewitch
Mon, 2011-04-04 11:30
Dear Hobo,
Thank you for reading and responding :)
love, cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentCandlewitch
Mon, 2011-04-04 11:32
Dear Shirl,
I always like knowing what you liked best with my poems. Thank you so much for your input.
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentCandlewitch
Mon, 2011-04-04 11:35
Dear Rosi,
Well do I know how evil some people are. (Too well!) It is true, you cannot change a person's basic nature. Thanks for your vote of confidence. I will leave it the same as it is and not change it.
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentCandlewitch
Mon, 2011-04-04 11:38
Dear Jayne,
Thank you! I know I have a good reader in you and you will never fail to tell me if I fall off balance. I'm so glad that you liked this one. It is going in "The Book of Styx II"
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author comment