Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
War Torn
Feeding her baby
she kisses her good night
thanking the Lord for his blessings
then watches the Moon
from her cold bed
longing for the kisses of her Love
Somewhere in those stars
her knight lies prone
shorn of their love in its bud
bathing her in warmth
with his cascading light
playing on her probing fingers
She dreams of her knight
singing lullabies
stroking their baby to sleep
waking up in joy
to see her toothsie smile
teething on his medal like rings
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Roscoe Lane
Sun, 2011-03-27 07:59
Beautiful,
Beautiful sad poem only one crit, verse two from line five. Hope this helps.Regards Roscoe..
they bathe her in warmth,
while their lights caress
along with her probing fingers
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
raj
Sun, 2011-03-27 14:22
Hi Roscoe
thank you for dropping by and your comment....thank you too for your suggestion ..but let me say that the light is with reference to her knight who bathes her in his warmth...
regards..
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentscribbler
Mon, 2011-03-28 23:19
hi
Good write on the emotions of a wife and mother whose husband has gone to war. I even liked " toothsie" as a made up word it conveys the meaning very well..............stan
raj
Tue, 2011-03-29 13:35
Thank you Stan for your
Thank you Stan for your comment..it is indeed about the emotions of a single war widowed mother who is trying to deal with the situation which i have tried to script here...good to know you liked it...
raj (sublime_ocean)
author comment