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Calling On The Stars
On such a night
The stars left in haste
And the moon shed tears
Looking in this mirror
And I see a man lost
In his own bloody skin
Honesty is as dead as innocence
And call me a fool if you please
If I am in search of truth
Then I am the proudest one of them all
If only fate could give me a blank page
I would write verses that brings roses out of stones
Yes, my words would be care free kids in the park
I wouldn’t ride on depression’s express train
Nope I would consider every day a gift
As for my past I left it at the station
Said sayonara and am ready for what’s next
No more walking like a slouch
Time to find sunlight in this darkness
Excuses are easy to manufacture
Admitting you need a helping hand
Now that’s a new language
So I’m asking the stars to return
Maybe they can help guide me
Comments
Apostolos "Paul...
Fri, 2011-03-25 19:49
thank you seren
im waiting for your additions
magics02
Thu, 2011-03-24 18:04
Paul
May the stars of strength and light guide you forever and a day. You write from the heart and the mind and I can feel it as I read it. Trust me I was in this place one too many times and always know you do not stay there. One day you will wake up and those days will be far and few between. You have did a marvelous job here with everything you and Andrew (and no I am not making no brownie points or cheescakes either:) I tell it like I feel it and I tell you that I am in tune with this write and it brings me back to the verandah to once again face the moon so serene and know tomorrow the sun will be out again.
Nice writing my friend
Love Mona Magics
xoxoxo
Apostolos "Paul...
Fri, 2011-03-25 19:50
mona
thank you for offering hope
weirdelf
Fri, 2011-03-25 06:49
powerful, beautiful, personal
the first two stanzas are fucking superb.
the line
If that is a man in tune with his emotions
totally sucks and ruins the poem, it smacks of psycho jargon, just something like
if I am me
would do the job.
This feels like a real change of direction, an expansion of your work Paul, it is inside and outside yourself and I love seeing it.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Apostolos "Paul...
Fri, 2011-03-25 06:50
jess thanks
for honest critique