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Fed By Faith

Submitted by Apostolos "Paul... on Wed, 2011-03-16 20:20

In these words I find solace
Passion breathes in every stroke of my pen
My heart bleeds onto this blank page

No more giving in to the suffocating
Tonight my pen intrigues the better me
My anguish grows afraid of my poetic melody

See rage lived in my mind rent free
She brought bags filled with sorrow
And her daughter named misery
Tonight I send them packing

In these words my heart loses that weight
The one that leaves you in a dark place
Blocking out the morning sun

Dancing to the beat of reality
Rather than watching others celebrate
No more sympathy on my menu
My chef is serving happiness
With a glass of festive wine

In these stanzas I let my heart speak
No holding back any longer
Time to put it all on the table
That is why I will write whole heartedly

I won’t hide behind elegance
Nope, I ate too many rejections
From the buffet of society
A side of discontent
And that unforgettable
Main course of Hypocrisy

I could eat till I vomit
Or I could be fed by faith
At least I know I can’t be fooled
By the heart in my chest

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Race_9togo

Wed, 2011-03-16 22:31

Race_9togo's picture
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I'm seeing more poetry from you lately. A good thing.

I like this one quite a bit.

Two minor things

stanza 3 line 4, "See"...I wanted to read "For"

stanza 7, line 2, "Nope, I ate " ...I thought "I've eaten" but it's too passive, "I ate" seems to break the cadence. Maybe "I ate far too many rejections"?

Good stuff, good to see you writing.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

magics02

Wed, 2011-03-16 22:33

I can only say my mind and being really absorbing this tonight. Trueness and richness in free form when you write like this. I can relate to every line of it.

Or I could be fed by faith
At least I know I can’t be fooled
By the heart in my chest

Amen to that Maestro:)

Spot on ..

Mona

Blue_Halcyon

Thu, 2011-03-17 07:58

Blue_Halcyon's picture

I really like the metaphors you used in this one paul.

Only one change that I agree with Jim on - stanza 7 line 2 - eaten does work better there. It helps to smooth out the flow.

Keep up the good work, Paul. :-)

It is such a secret place, the land of tears. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

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