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Minami Sanriku

Submitted by Race_9togo on Tue, 2011-03-15 21:40

They are ashore now
quiet on stone and sand
no terror left
just silence and
slight shifting in
an ebbing tide;

workers hunt inland
dogs and helicopters
whining hope
chattering rescue
stunned faces drained
of all but horror,

at twisted homes
and mangled flesh
mixed obscene
by shattered earth
and smash of ocean
in places once community,

while on the bleak horizon
smoke lazes
into freezing air as
radiation levels rise,

but they are ashore now
beyond all fear
uncaring and alone
moving lifeless
silent in the shift
of ebbing tide.

To contribute to earthquake relief,

text 'JAPAN' or 'QUAKE' to 80888 to make a $10 donation or visit https://secure20.salvationarmy.org/donation.jsp

http://www.peace-winds.org/en/

http://www.causecast.org/nonprofit/world-vision

http://www.redcross.org/portal/site/en/menuitem.1a019a978f421296e81ec89e...

http://donate.ifrc.org/

Style / type: 
Free verse
Last few words: 
Minami Sanriku is a town of 17,000, 10,000 of which are now missing or dead. Help as you can.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Race_9togo

Wed, 2011-03-16 04:19

Race_9togo's picture
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Had to do something, is all.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

Race_9togo

Wed, 2011-03-16 21:11

Race_9togo's picture
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I have not seen you for a bit, I trust you are well?

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

raj

Wed, 2011-03-16 23:19

very compassionate and empathetic write with a great usage of langua\ge and words which ofcourse is your forte...do you think "commune" would go smoother thatn "community" in L 18?...just a gentle suggestion...

would love to know what :Minami Sanriku" means ..

warmly..

raj (sublime_ocean)

Race_9togo

Wed, 2011-03-16 23:48

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Thanks for your kind words.

"MInami Sanriku" is the name of one of the towns wiped out by the tsunami.

Yes, "commune" would be better than "community", in terms of smoothness and cadence. However, the meaning of the line, "in places once community" is "in places that were once communities", implying that they no longer are those kinds of places because of the earthquake and tsunami, if you see what I mean, so I think that I'll leave "community" as is, this time. But the idea was a good one, thank you for it, Raj.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

raj

Thu, 2011-03-17 14:50

Thank you for explaining about "Minami Sanriku"....the name was ringing a bell but couldnt place it until you explained...

about community...i totally agree that in the context of its implied meaning it fits perfectly...

warm regards

raj (sublime_ocean)

pleiades

Thu, 2011-03-17 04:05

there's a sense of subdued compassion to this write,
that for some reason that i can't quite put my finger on,
really suits the subject matter

i find it hard to look for anything to critique in a poem
that is written from a compassionate place

this is well written ...your language use is really
good, and the imagery, sadly, alive

was watchng the news about a half hour ago,...
"and after the break, we'll find out how the situation
in japan is affecting the stock market" says the news announcer

who gives a fuck about the stock market? i thought

cheers
p

Race_9togo

Thu, 2011-03-17 05:18

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I was just off to bed when I saw your post.
I was listening to the radio. It was quiet, I was paying some bills, and as I did I heard a reporter talking abot the dead washing up on shore after the tsunami swept them away out tp sea, and I thought back to my youth when I had once helped to find a family that had drowned in a boating accident, and the two melded, and I was moved to get out my notebook and write. I think that's where the emotions come from, but I don't know for sure. I was just completly sad.

Sorry, I kinda rambled, but it's latee. think ill keep this post as is though.
Thanks again P, good night.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

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