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A KNOWLEDGE OF BEING

The last months
have felt like an acnestis upon my soul;
that little patch of skin on the back
that can't be reached to soothe.
Cannot be touched
to scratch.

It had me reaching,
spinning around in circles,
dog chasing tail...
mind railing against
the knowledge of this,
an Archaic Pain.

I was a mendicant
at your door.
You gave only confusion
For which there was No salve. No plaster.
only degrees of more.

But now I know - These memories of you
were an inactment of experiences
of child with mother
They were raw and elicited
a knowing of being
whole and apart,
full and empty, present and absent, near and distant.
The approaching and retreating, giving and taking, intrusion and expulsion, protection and threat, sameness and otherness of you...

I think I shall contract back into
My heart – back to where it began
Right at the start…

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Lots of great metaphors and images here Boni. Just one polish I seen in this line

I was a mendicant
at you door.

I wa a medicant
at your door perhaps?

Great job and I felt this especaily when you talk of pain......

Wonderful to share today with us
Thank you

Regards
Mona

Thanks for stopping by to comment! No I did mean "mendicant" and this is why...

men·di·cant   /ˈmɛndɪkənt/ Show Spelled
[men-di-kuhnt] Show IPA

–adjective
1. begging; practicing begging; living on alms.
2. pertaining to or characteristic of a beggar.

regards
Boni

Bonitaj

author comment

It was not that word in question it was this part ( at YOUR door ) not at you door. The medicant I got, it was the you versus your that through me off kilter.. Nice reading you once again and like the transformation in your writings

Regards
Mona
xox

So much for the grammar check! At least both of us are competent in the vocab. areas!! Still it was good to highlight the errant word - it made the meaning that much stronger!
THanks for that! ;)
Boni

Bonitaj

author comment

Will be reading more soon:)

Blessings
Mona

Welcome back Bon, a little busy at the moment and tired so I'll forgo crit until I can climb over your acnestis. Only you would find the most difficult word in the dictionary to put in a poem. We have to talk. Welcome back my darling of the dictionary.

B

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