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Manna
Flash of ebony
fields of golden wheat stalks sway
manna for some crows.
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Blue_Halcyon
Sun, 2011-03-13 08:58
One for silver, two for gold
Crows are kewl! I enjoyed your haiku, the words create a strong imagery.
One typo though - fields.
Other than that - wouldn't change a thing. Keep up the good work! :-)
It is such a secret place, the land of tears. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
autumnphoenix
Sun, 2011-03-13 09:09
Many thanks
Your comments are welcomed. I thank you for the info on the typo. I am still fighting with dyslexia. Most days I do well at catching the "cross overs" :) Sometimes...:(
This week however it seems I just didn't see them. I think I shall have my son proof for me again. :)
Thanks again
Autumn Phoenix
author commentBlue_Halcyon
Sun, 2011-03-13 09:52
Don't sweat it
We all make spelling errors at some point. (I had several here recently). We all help each other out around here when we see it. :-)
It is such a secret place, the land of tears. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry