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First Strike! (eddy styx)

First Strike

roaming the alleys
I spied a young man
in his early twenties
carrying gasoline.
noticing the sloshing of the can,
his furtiveness dragged me after him.
keeping to the shadows,
I trailed at a distance,
moving when he moved.
He was soon joined
by a red tabby cat,
who wound about his legs
begging for attention.
I identify with cats
going about their
own prowling business.
Watching from the shadows
horror gripped my heart.
Pouring gas on the cat,
he nimbly lit a match,
but the cat fled before
the lit match could land.
Instinctively I jumped,
my bare fist landing on jaw;
he crumpled to the cement.
Dousing him with the
remains of liquid in the can,
I awaited his return
to the conscious world.
When I saw him awaken
his eyes full of terror,
I dropped a match,
springing back
out of harms way,
as his body caught fire
in a violent blaze;
He lit up the night sky,
casting his flailing,
ghastly shadow on the sheds.
The next day’s paper
told of a suspected arson who died
accidentally by his own hand.
A virgin no longer,
first kill has been made
for defense of a cat
I am, somehow, unsatisfied,
For I am a cold-hearted killer
not this thing of unbridled passion.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Another poem for the "Book of Styx II" in preparation to submission for publication. All help and suggestions are welcome. Thanks in advance! Eddy Styx (& cat)
Editing stage: 

Comments

Truly terrifying

Love Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Thanks, dear.

always eddy (love cat)

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author comment

I glad you liked it, as it is something a little different!

always eddy (love cat)

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author comment

the stealth...the anguish...the killer statement

For I am a cold-hearted killer
not this thing of unbridled passion

makes this write a thriller....held me captive through and through...

much love...

raj (sublime_ocean)

I'm so glad that you liked the build up and the imagery. Thanks for commenting!

always, eddy (& cat)

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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

Yes! But not a cold hearted killer! His compassion for the cat, and the rage at what man tried to do, and the furiousness with which he responded, leave no doubt. I think Killer would be happy to make the acquaintance of Eddy. Both Killer and Eddy seem to have a soft spot in their hearts for the weak and oppressed. Your word usage was fine, the pattern and rythm flowed well, and I liked the title just fine.

Maybe we could work on something together? ~ Love ya, Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Huge :) from eddy! I'm so glad you liked it and it worked for you. eddy tips his hat to Killer. I think they could be friends, isn't that weird? Maybe, as they have similar interests and weaknesses. A co-write could be very interesting and I am open to it!

always, eddy (love, cat)

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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
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author comment

this next week, we will get together and pick a subject to write about. I am open to suggestions. I will look for message from you. I think it will be fun! ~ Love ya, ~ Gee and Killer.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Thanks so much for the video treat!

love, Cat

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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

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