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VOID
What progress within the static constant
I could shut one eye for ever and nothing
would change but appearance, becoming a
one eyed blinker temporarily blind
for an infrequent instant.
Impatient through the grinding hopeless
numbness that battles my sensibilities
seeking distraction within view of the
impasse that encircles this fracture.
Splitting vertically beneath my feet
sees me stumbling backwards to the
safety of the ragged edge.
The void that shapes the missing wedge
where some might think I climbed to its
summit, looking down above I'd trade
a precious trinket for a happy song but
the darkness shapes me,
it's where I belong.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
ziggy
Sat, 2011-02-26 17:37
hi there
thank you, as I know you don't say that lightly
glad you got this , I could of just said I get bored easily lol
but I have 'hood' to thank for his feed back on this one ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
author commentlou
Sat, 2011-02-26 22:10
Dark genius
Ziggy all I can say is this is the best one you have written, love every bit of it.
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
ziggy
Sun, 2011-02-27 14:51
hi louise
hey cheers for the thumbs up on this one
I am a little surprised it went down so well
so far chat ya soon ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
author commentziggy
Sun, 2011-02-27 14:52
hi shirl
WOW cheers for the great comment
its great to know, I was a little unsure
about it thanks again ,,,,,,,,zigs
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
author commentziggy
Sun, 2011-02-27 14:57
hi
cheers for the comment and suggestion I will think on it for sure
I am a little surprised folk like it lol , sometimes I hide the meaning
of a write depending on the theme but I guess I'll live and learn ,,,,,,,zigs
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
author commentraj
Sun, 2011-02-27 04:04
Ziggy
this is something one reads..absorbs and feel lucky that it happened your way...a write of exceptional quality to express the void ///the space of nothingness which really needs someone with a mastery over words...
raj (sublime_ocean)
ziggy
Sun, 2011-02-27 14:59
hi
thank you for your kind comment
I guess I can't get it wrong all the
time lol, yes the inner void cheers
for stopping by I'll be round your page
soon ...................zigs
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
author commentCandlewitch
Sun, 2011-02-27 16:01
Dear Ziggy,
The void that shapes the missing wedge
where some might think I climbed to its
summit, looking down above I'd trade
a precious trinket for a happy song but
the darkness shapes me,
it's where I belong.
Very deep! I have no suggestions for this brilliant write!
Love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
ziggy
Mon, 2011-02-28 15:20
hi cat
how you keeping , cheers for the read
I am glad you approve thank you for that
check you out soon ,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
author commentHooded Stranger
Sun, 2011-02-27 17:27
Zigs
Zigs,
glad you posted this one. I see you've made some of the changes we spoke about.
I have nothing to critique, because we had already done that, but wanted you to know I had visited your page and still think this is an awesome piece.
Fav lines:
Impatient through the grinding hopeless
numbness that battles my sensibilities
seeking distraction within view of the
impasse that encircles this fracture
Really like the use of 'impasse'...such a great word!
Great poem, good job my friend,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
ziggy
Mon, 2011-02-28 15:23
hi hood
cheers for your input on this one
yes 'impasse' glad you like it
and glad you approve of this one ,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
author commentziggy
Mon, 2011-02-28 15:25
hey there
yes not a bad interpretation, cheers for the comment
check you out soon mad busy this week, dog tired in the
evenings cheers ,,,,,,,,zigs
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
author commentCandlewitch
Thu, 2011-03-03 11:01
Hey Bro,
I haven't heard from you for awhile and it has got me starting to worry. Is everything okay? Know I'm thinking about you.
Love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
ziggy
Thu, 2011-03-03 14:26
hey sis
lol ah cat thank you for caring I have being very busy at work , I'll catch up with you tomorrow and your writes which I already had a peek at , eddy is at it again chat you then ,,,,,,,,,,,,,endastory,,,,,,,,
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
author comment