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The way of water
mirrored mountains gleam
ripples erase reflection
water moves away
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Edit:- I changesd the whole second line.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
RoseBlack
Sun, 2023-01-22 12:25
Short and simple
Yet the imagery says so much...well done!
~RoseBlack~
Seren
Tue, 2023-01-24 11:41
Dear RoseBlack
Thank you I'm happy you liked it!!
Kind regards Jayne xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Seren
Tue, 2023-01-24 11:44
Dear Mark
You're right I've updated this one I actually only had the taps to begin with somehow the M capitalised itself somewhere along the lines.
Thanks for the heads up
Kind regards Jayne x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Lavender
Sun, 2023-01-22 14:04
The Way of Water
Hello, Seren,
This is peaceful and serene, yet has just the right touch of motion. Wonderful.
L
Seren
Tue, 2023-01-24 11:46
Dear Lavender
Thank you I am so glad you liked it. Haiku is something I dabble in from time to time
Kind regards Jayne x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Candlewitch
Sun, 2023-01-22 15:09
dear Jayne,
excellent haiku! very visual words.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Seren
Tue, 2023-01-24 11:47
Dearest Cat
Thank you I'm so happy you liked it.
Hugs & love always Jayne xxxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Candlewitch
Wed, 2023-01-25 11:23
5-7-5
is my count.
*Love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Seren
Wed, 2023-01-25 11:41
Yep that's what I keep
Yep that's what I keep getting too!!!
Love Always Jayne xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Seren
Tue, 2023-01-24 11:54
Dear Ekaterina
That's a lovely thing to say!! Thanks so much. I'm a blank slate until I put my headphones on. I always listen to instrumental music never songs with lyrics. I find that sometimes being a singer it can influence the process.
I am so happy that you like it
Hugs Jayne xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
lovedly
Wed, 2023-01-25 09:03
Haikus are
5 7 5 oe 17 syllables May get it checked by an expert Seren
Seren
Wed, 2023-01-25 10:36
Hmmm
Maybe I am counting wrong but I counted it to be 5,7,5.
shrug hmmm anybody got time to check for me?
Thanks Lovely. I will make sure to get it checked by an expert
I'm nearly done with your poem lovely.
Love J xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
lovedly
Wed, 2023-01-25 11:15
Seren
you know I can't count
never mind
if I could count then USA POETESS
who took pains at teaching me
SONNETRY
wouldn't have failed
May God bless her soul
Yeah I am anxious enough to know ...the whole truth ...worth ....as a neo poet
Thanks Seren sis
Seren
Wed, 2023-01-25 11:42
All good easy enough mistake
All good easy enough mistake to make.
Don't sweat it!!!
Love ya Sis
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Seren
Wed, 2023-02-08 11:02
Big smile
You got it!!!
I had an epiphany tonight. That second line bothered the heck out of me soooo. Here it is my brain has stopped itching now. Lol
Jayne
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats