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JULY 27
A breeze blows by here on the porch
yet sweat still gathers on my brow
'cause its so hot even weeds scorch,
It could be hotter.... I don't know how.
A cloud is building in the west,
I hope it decides to come this way
a bit of rain would be well blessed
on this hot dry summer day.
A crow arches on the power pole
then fluffs his feathers trying to cool.
He can't offset being black as coal.
So I squawk at him like an old fool.
Across the field a whirlwind rages
sending leaves and such into the air
which twirl like torn up poems' pages.
Then it dissipates without a care.
That building cloud went another way
taking other clouds along with it.
Man it sure is hot today.
Did I already mention it?
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Thu, 2022-07-28 17:17
Yes...
It surely is hot today! I felt like I could be watching the same scene from my front porch; looking out over the valley.
Only thing I see to change, is the addition of the word [air] the last word of the second line in the fourth stanza.
~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Thu, 2022-07-28 21:16
Hi Gee
I thought it never got really hot up your way lol. Thanks for spotting my omission (hasty posting). stay cool
author commentGeezer
Fri, 2022-07-29 00:45
Oh Hell yeah...
it gets hot here. We have had high eighties and nineties for the last two weeks! 102 they claim with the heat-index; whatever the hell that is. It is supposed to be in the high-mid eighties for the next week. Not much rain; they keep promising thunderstorms, but we've only gotten a couple of little rumbles and hardly any lightning. ~ Geez.
.,
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Fri, 2022-07-29 01:54
Heat index is a measure of felt heat which is determined by the
actual heat plus humidity. We have had just a single 30 minute shower here in the last 3 weeks. Seems we get thunder and radar shows rain heading this way but it just dissipates or misses us by a mile or so. I reckon we aren't paying the preacher enough lol
author commentCandlewitch
Thu, 2022-07-28 18:04
hello Scribbler,
I'm sorry you are so hot and miserable I am in my cool basement.I hope your hot spell breaks with some rain.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
scribbler
Thu, 2022-07-28 21:17
Well
We trade off mild winters for hot summers lol. thanks for dropping by
author commentRosewood Apothecary
Thu, 2022-07-28 19:47
Yeah you said it
I’m framing a 96 foot long single family home. The entire two acre lot is cleared. The dust rise like the wastelands of a Mad Max film. There is no such thing as shade. This is definitely hitting the mark with me.
Good one,
Tim
scribbler
Thu, 2022-07-28 21:21
Yep. I was a builder most of my life and built a lot of homes
and barns many of which had no shade anywhere. The last few years I'd buy and set up a pic nic canopy nearby so at least during breaks I'd have some shade lol. Be careful in the heat
author comment