Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

CLIMBING TO THE HEAVENS

The affable night gave me the secret of how to come to heaven safely,
and the bold clouds laid out his support that I should climb bravely,

the moon was so proud that I was anticipating to come to his sight,
but coming up so far I was terrified by a gigantic moon light,

and a dark cloud was clustering trying to play a role of a good Samaritan,

but the embargo of fear of silence gripped the atmosphere yet I'm the titan,

who intends to visit the kingdom of God and His angels.

©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

change your title to: Climbing To The Heavens.
The affable night gave me (the)secret (of) how to come to heaven safely

may you someday, attain your aspired goal...but not too soon...we need you here on planet Earth! if anyone can do it, it is you!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

for being the eagle eye. Line corrected!

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.