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Underneath the limbs life

Several
forever fading
fragments of
one single shattered dream.
Who’s streams of significance
flow far behind
the shadows of time.
Just another
persistent passing
presence
leaving behind
Those minimal
minor moments .

Last few words: 
Im describing memories and Friends who are no more how you keep them alive through those memories . Im not sure if the first part connects very well with the second part .
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment

The "Last Few Words" are really uneccessary.
This has a timeless depth of sadness far, far beyond the mere meaning of the words. This, for me, is what poetry is all about.

A single structural issue:

"Several
forever fading
fragments of
One single shattered
dream. Who’s streams of significance
flow far behind
the shadows of time."

Lines three and four:

"Several
forever fading
fragments of
***One single shattered dream
***Whose streams of significance
flow far behind
the shadows of time."

It makes the lines less choppy, puts the focus on the aliteration you have used, and highlights the meaning and intensity of feeling.

I must say, I am very much enjoying your poems.
A most excellent addition to your body of work.
Keep writing.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

People don’t last forever .
People like light fade into the enigma known as death.
Leaving you with nothing but the memories the constant reoccurring visions of lost friends, family and spouses.

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment
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