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It all became so real

I have more care to stay than will to go
And all the things I left behind,
I’ll eventually forget to know.
All the words I did not write,
To the pen I hold back tight.
I can’t hold onto this feeling,
Next to your grave I am gently kneeling.
Death was a dog panting at your doorstep,
And you so kindly let him in.

I have more care to stay than will to go
All the things I can’t remember,
I’ll never let them know.
My head heavy on the desk in class
The slamming of doors and breaking of young, fragile hearts
Next to my bed I kneel on broken glass.
I was a dog begging at your doorstep
But it’s too late to let me in.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
"I have more care to stay than will to go", sampled from act 3, scene 5 of Romeo and Juliet. This poem is a product of a writing exercise I did in class a few years ago.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

gotten a good mark for that exercise!
A very good interpretation of a suicide!
I can't help wondering if you knew someone that
had committed suicide; the emotion seems very real?
It's not exactly all free verse, but is a mixture of rhyme and free verse
that blends well. I like the title and it provided me with the thought
that you may have known someone who has committed suicide. I like the fact
there are no recriminations of the person and just a gentle rebuke:
"Death was a dog panting at your doorstep, and you so kindly let him in."
Very well done. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Yes, not so much intentional suicide but my father passed from cancer and did not seek treatment as he was suicidal, so yes the emotion is very real.

Thank you

author comment

these are my favorite lines:

My head heavy on the desk in class
The slamming of doors and breaking of young, fragile hearts
Next to my bed I kneel on broken glass.
I was a dog begging at your doorstep
But it’s too late to let me in.

very emotive! great work!

*hugs, Cat

p.s.

would you please read one of my poems and tell me what you think? I would really like to have your opinion! thank you.

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