Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

EAGLES' PACE

In the jungle,she climbed the rising moon
Through the windy lane at noon.
And of sliced stillness,she grabbed a knowing wink
From a dry Zephyr that detests storm blinks.

Then weighty Cyclones fly under her wings at altitude.
Her glaring gaze dared this magnitude.
And the taste of her strength geared
From the recount of her furnished elegance.

She waddled on her nest
In the Sylvan from a frosty net
Of wild vipers and squeezed in diving might.
These came from the chest of bold breeds.

And like in a typhoon with angry thugs
Wrens came to wrestle with this flying lords
Then through pendulum tugs
She won her foes.

Then of stinging nettles
From a dreadful nectar
Her flight purrs and soars
Leaving the Canary of weak tales in cage.

A realm her net webs froze
A prize, priceless enough than bronze
Then her sleepless dawn soar beams
And now sky rails can cling to a majestic queen.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Looking forward for your great replies
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Eagle has unbeatable sense of an sight. Is fearless, tenacious and high flyers. And it possess vitality and capability of seeing more than human beings.

Excellent piece! Welcome to neopoet.
From Jackwebb!

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

in this line: In the jungle,she climbed the rising moon (In the jungle, she climbed the rising moon) you need a space after a comma. I see several places in this poem where you should apply this rule. my favorite lines are:

Then weighty Cyclones fly under her wings at altitude.
Her glaring gaze dared this magnitude.
And the taste of her strength geared
From the recount of her furnished elegance.

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.