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Cats...

Lanky cat and mean Old Tom
sit on the steps together
Old Tom's the boss of course
Mr. Lanky says whatever

Swagger down the dusty path
the two are hip to hip
Lying in the sun at last
from the others take no lip

Black as coal they both are
Tom touched white here and there
Lanky's old but still quite fit
got a few grey hairs

Through half lidded eyes they see
Yellow Tiger's feeling cranky
He swats his pals, cuffs them
But not Old Tom or Lanky

The sun is shining warm on them
The grass soft and smelling sweet
Most the dogs don't come down here
at least not on this street

Time to check the begging spots
look for handouts now
Ms. White is in the kitchen, busy
but she'll give out chow

Bellies full of leftover meat
today's most at an end
They sit once more on the stairs
Old Tom and his Lanky friend

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Watching the neighborhood cats today, I've seen them down in the woods on the shortcut to the store and my neighbor's stairs.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I love the imagery in this. the warm sun used to make my black cat shine heat like asphault on a summers day, the calm laxadasicality of cats comes out in the style. one phrase I loved was "most the dogs dont come down here"

I love seeing the cats of the neighborhood, especially when they don't know you are watching them. I've got my own private names for them all. You've met Old Tom, Lanky and Yellow Tiger. There's also Tippy Toes and The Gopher and once in a while, [I think he is a housecat that escapes every now and then], Tuxedo. They winter at the house down the street, in the enclosed back porch of an old couple, who makes sure that they eat and have water. No heat, but lots of old blankets and a hole they use to go in and out. I'm glad that you liked my cats and their story. Maybe I'll do more about them later.
~ Geez.
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author comment

once again you have surprised me with your versatility! I love this inside expose on Cats. I believe that each cat has a personality of their own. and you have brought this out in your cheeky poem! I would love to read more on all of them. favorite lines:

Through half lidded eyes they see
Yellow Tiger's feeling cranky
He swats his pals, cuffs them
But not Old Tom or Lanky

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

My neighbor leaves food out for them during the warmer weather and we are bound to see more of them soon. There was an association that came around and gathered them all up a couple at a time, neutered them and brought them back. We were delighted that Old Tom and Lanky were the last to be caught. It seems that they had a hideaway and a sixth sense with avoiding the traps. Ha ha! [Finally caught at the old couples down the street, in the cold weather.] Anyhow, glad that you enjoyed the cats and will make sure that they get some more press. Hugs from the boys, ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

This is an adorable write. Makes me think of Old Possums Book of Practical Cats and Elliot's observation of feline relationships and behavior. They really can be quite comical as well as intriguing. I enjoyed very much.

~RoseBlack~

We have a number of cats in the neighborhood that are quite the little gang. I love to see them and watch them hang out. Thanks for the read and comment. ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

I really enjoyed this poem. Likely among my favorite of yours

there will be more of these I'm sure, the weather is getting nice, and they will be hanging around, mostly in the front of the house, where the sun comes up early and warms the street. In the afternoon, they come to the neighbor's back yard where they can get some water and shade. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment
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